INGRID (ENGLISH VERSION)

TOUR

[Attention please: This chapter was written before January. This means that this was before the pandemic, so I don't make any reference to COVID-19 at all. I know it sounds too selfish, not to mention a single thing about such a tragic situation. However, you have to know that after this chapter the whole story is set in the future. In case someone is offended and you want me to change the dates e.g. to 30 years earlier, please PM me or comment. Thank you].

Lydia had asked us to create this common bank account, but after some point I felt that she would really call the shots, concerning what we were spending. It seemed to me that Lydia and Lars had some kind of avarice, which was really dangerous.

The tour for Arborial Language started in June 2020. It would last until April 2021. The tour went smoothly for some months. We weren't performing constantly, but we were also having short breaks, in order to be with our families as well. Of course, the reason why I say that the tour went smoothly was that in fact off stage Lydia wasn't interacting with us at all. Lydia was only singing backing vocals in the shows (not even lead vocals) and after that, we would never catch up with her. She wouldn't stay at the same hotel with us, wouldn't catch the same flights with us, nor in the tour bus, but Lars and she would join us separately from us. We would meet them only during the soundcheck and the show. We would never ask her to join us for a drink because we knew she wouldn't. She didn't want us anymore. She was using us so that she could boast that she was singing in Alexandria. Such was her self-esteem.

Things were like that for a few months. However, everything changed completely since October 23rd, 2020. The shit hit the fan for me, temporarily, because I had the greatest scar of my life. And I refer to an incident, which most people don't know and I have never talked to anyone about it because it has been so painful to me, that I have buried it deep inside. 2020 was the year that I ever in my life got pregnant. And this is what happened. Michalis and I kept on having our relationship, which sometimes used to include a lot of violence. However, not only wouldn't I leave, because I was afraid of loneliness, but when he proposed to me, I accepted it. Fortunately, marriage is something that had never happened. In mid-September 2020, I returned to Ireland for a few days, because there were no shows for a while I went to stay with Michalis in Limerick. However, a month later I realised I was pregnant. In the beginning, I was extremely frightened, as I was only 24 years old and it was impossible for me to become a mother at such a young age. So, I considered it wise to talk to Michalis, because he could support me.

But I was bluffing. When I told Michalis that I was pregnant, he was taken aback and told me in an obvious hostility: "Ingrid, are you serious? How could you get knocked up at such a young age? How will you be able to raise a child now, can you tell me?".

"Hey, you know I didn't do the whole business all by myself. You're also responsible for that. Ok?", I replied fiercely.

"DON'T FUCKING RAISE YOUR VOICE!!!", he screamed and lifted his hand. I put my hands on my head in a defence position, because I was afraid that he would hit me. "Are you scared, little kitten?", he said sarcastically. "Alright, then. What do you expect me to do?", I said in a calm tone this time. "You know what you have to do. Everything can be made up". I looked at him puzzled. "Stop looking at me. Pack your stuff up and go quickly to the UK and if you think that the surgery costs a lot of money, use a hanger or a hook. You won't be the first woman to do this", he said laughing. I started walking outdoors, but he added. "Listen up. There are some women who have also used broomsticks. It's so funny, isn't it?". Then he started laughing even louder and I have to admit that the reminiscence of his ironic laughter still haunts me.

Yes, my dear. Anyone would agree that this is something to laugh about. Forcing a woman to abort her baby, even though she doesn't want to. And if she doesn't obey, then you are allowed to force her to put a hanger, a hook or even a broomstick on her vagina, so that the whole job is done costlessly. And in case a woman says that this is equivalent to rape, then everybody tells her that she's one of these idiot trendy feminists. Nothing but an idiot trendy feminist, when at the same time someone takes control over her own body. This is something really funny and everybody is allowed to make jokes about that. Isn't that right?