I'll Remember

Fifth Week

Mom would always tell me to smile and be nice to other kids most especially in gatherings. I should get along and play with them, she said. However, I am not very fond of socializing. I'm awkward and timid. Feeling ko lalagnatin ako kapag kumausap ng ibang batang ka-edad ko.

I also find kids my age very immature. Funny, how I think lowly of them when I was also a kid. Hindi ko gusto ang mga hilig ng mga batang babae noon. They always talk about their crushes. They want something that came out of a fairy tale. A knight in shining armor or a prince charming. And they also talk about make ups! How they want to grow up so fast so they could wear them and be pretty. They play pretend house with their dolls. Just not my thing.

As for the boys, they're just too childish and spoiled. I can't stand them. Some told me they will buy many cars when they grow older. Mayroon ding nagpapayabangan kung sino ang mas matangkad. Some even say they will marry me! Mayroon namang nangakong igagawa ako ng malaking bahay and vowed to give me everything I want.

And that's when I realize that it would be hard for me to find friends. They were not my crowd.

So, I buried myself in studying and I befriended the characters in my favorite novels. I convinced myself that it was okay. Books are my company. However, Harry has Hermione and Ron. Percy has Annabeth and Grover. Jo has Laurie and her three sisters. Lucy has her siblings and Aslan. Frodo has Sam, Pippin and Merry.

I connect with them but I'm not their person. I can never be their friend. Just an outsider overseeing their adventures.

They aren't real.

Deep within me, I longed to find my own friend too. A person who will accept me for who I am. A person who will get along with me. A person who will never leave me behind. A person I can trust.

Then you came along Skandar. You became my person. Moreover, you introduced me to your crowd.

You are loved by many. I did not expect to be loved by the people around you. I really appreciate your cousins. They made me feel for once that I belong.

Kuya Zion is the nicest and kindest person na nakilala ko. He calls me 'little one' and you're really upset because I told you I have a crush on him. Sino bang hindi? He's handsome and smart. Sa kanya ako laging nagtatanong kung tama ang sagot ko for homeworks. He's also very sweet. He hugs me and pats my head everytime we see each other and you told me that he's doing it because I look like a puppy. He takes care of everyone kasi siya ang eldest. Siya ang mediator kapag may nag aaway sa inyong magpipinsan.

And then there's Kuya Alas. He's intimidating. He has a permanent scowling face. The first time I met him, I was instantly reminded of myself. He's the serious and strict Kuya. Kaya you and the others called him 'Gramps'. But somehow, we got pretty close. Lagi kasi kaming dalawa yung nasa gilid and silently judging everyone kapag nagtatalo kayong magpipinsan. I remember having a discussion with him about politics when we're in fifth grade. Tapos natahimik lahat kasi sobrang seryoso namin.

However, Kuya Alas has a weakness. He's a softie when it comes to his younger brother. Meeting Sylvester was a funny story. He's really chubby and tall. Tapos lagi niyo siyang binubully ni Heaven. Lagi tuloy nagagalit sa inyo si Kuya Alas. Sly likes to eat. He offered me a lot of food. Love language niya ang pagkain. I like him because he's cute like a baby. And I get to take care of him. Sometimes, I boss him around and he will just nod to everything I told him to do. But he can also be smart and serious like his brother when he wants to be. Siya pa lang ang nakakatalo sa akin sa chess!

I liked Ate Ceres the first time you introduced me to her. She's a bad bitch. She hates me and she shows it. Tuwing iniimbita mo ko sa hang outs niyong magpipinsan, she would always brush me off. And then she badmouths me kaya lagi mo siyang pinapagalitan. She would always ask you why the hell would you bring me, eh hindi ko naman kayo kapamilya. I like her bluntness. Hindi rin siya plastic sa akin. We only got along because apparently, pareho kami ng taste sa music and sa series na pinapanood namin on netflix. It was unexpected. From then on, naging over protective naman siya sa akin. Ayaw nga niyang lumalapit ka sa akin kasi you're hitting on me daw. Kaya lagi kayong nag-aaway eh.

And of course, Heaven, her younger brother is our best friend. Sa kanya ako unang naging comfortable. Lagi siyang nasa bahay niyo kapag bumibisita ko kaya we got close. And I was avoiding you before, kaya kay Heaven ako sumasama. I don't feel nervous around him. Heaven is quirky and weird. I like hanging around with him because he's funny and witty. Madalas hindi ko gets ang mga trip niya. Naalala ko nung inaya ka niya ng race wearing roller skates on both feet and hands. Tapos he rammed you kaya pareho kayong sumubsob. I told the both of you it's a bad idea. But Heaven's a big idiot and you're even a bigger idiot because you agreed with him. Kaya grounded kayo pareho sa dami ng bruises na nakuha niyo doon.

Their youngest sister, Castle is your sister's best friend. Unlike Ate Ceres, who's very girly... Castle is one of the boys. She loves sports. Ate Ceres is frustrated about it. She can't dress her up. Castle is stubborn and she puts her Ate into place. Kaya kami ni Saoirse ang nagiging victim ni Ate Ceres. Lahat ng hindi niya magawa sa kapatid niya, ginagawa niya sa amin.

Kuya Zion's siblings are very different from him. Sabi mo sa akin, the three of them are like puzzle pieces. Different but somehow they fit one another. Calin and Yeshua loves their eldest. I can really see the admiration and respect that they have for Kuya Zion. From my observation, silang magkakapatid ang pinakaclose knit.

Calin is charming. Siya ang pinakacheeky sa inyo. He gets away with everything. He can twist and manipulate the situation into his advantage. He's in between. Right amount of maturity and childishness. Siya lang ata ang hindi napapasunod ni Ate Ceres. He has shoulder length curly hair kaya he's the most popular with girls, added to the fact that he's a flirt. He loves his hair so much kaya nga you guys pranked him one time when he's asleep. You cut a great amount of hair from a wig and then you woke him up and showed it to him. He freaked out. Heaven filmed it and Ate Ceres posted it online. He unfriended all of you for a month, kaya ako yung kinulit niya. He even ask me to join him on scheming his revenge on you guys. I declined. Hassle kasi dalawa lang kami. And I enjoyed watching him in misery because of his hair.

Yeshua, the youngest of the three is just like Van. The reason why they're best friends. Tahimik si Yesh pero hindi siya masungit katulad ng kapatid mo. Yesh is cute and adorable. He will approach me with his brows furrowed and asks me trivial questions. He's a curious child. Sometimes he would read with me. He's the sociable version of Van. He also likes compliments lalo na kapag galing kay Kuya Zion. I realize that it must've been nice to have a younger brother like him. He's the only one who calls me by my second name. I'm always his 'Ate Andri."

The times I spent with all of you are moments not wasted.

Having people by my side is all I ever wanted.

It's been a pleasure to meet all of you.

You painted colors to my life that once was blue.

I'll remember.

-T.A