I'll Remember

Eleventh Week

Two days after our conversation, I felt relieved when I saw you laughing with your friends.

Kasama si Heaven.

Heaven had a bruise near his eyes though, while you had a cut near your lips. I don't even want to know how you two sort out your misunderstanding.

Natanggal ang bigat na nakadagan sa dibdib ko. I just wanted you and him to be okay again. Hindi magandang magkaaway kayo. Dapat lagi kayong magkakampi.

Our conversation made me hopeful too. Maybe, we could really be friends again. But I don't want to push my luck too hard. Apat na taon ang lumipas, alam kong may mga nagbago.

Akala ko, you're going to approach me the first chance you get after our talk.

Pero hindi eh.

I've seen you with your friends for a whole week, tanging ngiti at tango lang ang ginagawad mo sa akin. So, I just did the same. I don't want to approach you first. Hindi ko ata kakayanin kapag hindi mo ko papansinin.

And I'm kind of contented that we're civil with each other. Not indifferent. So, that's a progress.

Mukhang hindi ka na rin nagagalit sa tuwing kinakausap ako ni Heaven. Minsan sumasama siya sa amin ni Magui tuwing break. Magui is so fond of him, paano ba naman, Heaven likes to share his memes. Minsan gumagawa pa siya ng sarili niya, tapos stolen shots niyong magkakaibigan ang subject.

I'm starting to really like school again. Magui is even convincing me to run for the Junior High School Student Coordinating Body election. Sabi niya, if I'm aiming the highest grade sa extra curricular, I should run for presidency.
Next month, kasi ang start ng pag apply ng candidacy.

I'm actually considering it. Pero alam ko sa sarili kong socially awkward ako. Hindi ko alam kung suited ba ako sa position. But I know I can lead and I'm equipped. Hindi nga lang ako sikat para manalo.

Alam naman ng lahat na may factor ang popularity sa mga botohan. Kaya nga ang daming artistang pumapasok sa politics. They have the brand and the image. Madaling makahatak ng tiwala at boto.

"Gaga! Halos lahat ng lalaking kabatch natin crush ka!" Kontra sa akin ni Magui nang sabihin ko sa kanya ang nasa isip ko. Baliw talaga.

"Beauty and brains! Bagay na Miss President! I'm sure you'll win! Malakas ang fanbase mo from the male population!"

Library period namin at ang ingay ingay niya. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at nagpatuloy sa pagbabasa ng libro. Ang akala ata niya beauty pageant ang pagtakbo sa student council.

Talak siya ng talak kaya nagtaka ako nang bigla siyang tumigil sa pagsasalita. Nag-angat ako ng tingin mula sa libro, and there I saw you, the reason why she stopped blabbering.

"Girl, balik ko lang 'tong book sa shelf." Ani ng traydor na Magui at kinurot pa ko sa tagiliran.

Nakita ko pang umangat ang gilid ng labi mo sa ginawa niya. I sighed. Tumayo ako at ibabalik na rin sana ang librong binabasa. I don't think I'll be able to read if you're here. Baka paulit ulit kong basahin ang isang paragraph.

Oo talaga. Bothered ako sa presence mo!

Pero di 'yun halata sa mukha kong mukhang laging nagsusungit.

"Saan ka pupunta?" Nagtaas ka ng kilay. You were pouting to hide the ghost of smile from your lips.

"Don't you have class?" Balik na tanong ko.

"Vacant."

"Then why are you here?"

"To read." You touched your lower lip. Medyo nadistract ako. "Ayaw mo ba? I'll go." May hawak ka ngang libro but I think it's a Science textbook.

I clutched the book near my chest. Mariin akong pumikit. Kung vacant mo pala, diba dapat kasama mo ang mga kaibigan mo? Bakit nandito ka ngayon at saktong library period namin?

"You can stay...I guess." I sighed.

"Stay." Pag-uulit mo pa at lumaki ang ngiti mo.

"You're rereading Little Women?" You asked me while taking a seat. You pointed at the book I'm holding.

I've read this book when I was nine. It's one of my favorite classic novel. It was written by Louissa May Alcott. The story of the four sisters; Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy. They had the brightest and happiest childhood. Something that I wasn't able to experience much.

"I like Jo the most." Biglang sabi mo.

To be honest, hindi ko inaasahan iyon.

"You read this?" I squinted my eyes. Hmm, that's unusual. Sabi kasi ng iba, Little Women isn't for men. It promotes feminism din kasi.

Your ears turned red. Umupo ako sa harap mo, feeling elated now.

Ang cute lang.

"Why? Bawal?" Tanong mo nang nakabawi. "I think that novel is important to be read by men as much as it is to women."

I crossed my arms and tilted my head to the side to probe you more. You're really full of surprises, Sky.

"A lot of people missed that it's also a story about men. Kind men. Generous men. Take Laurie for example, a lot of instance, his relationship with the March sisters can be gendered. He allows Jo to boss him around. When in that time, men are superior. But he's different. He's willing to join their adventures. He was even mirroring their quirks. He genuinely enjoyed being around the little women without imposing toxic masculinity which is prevalent back then and up to now."

My mouth slightly parted because of that. I never really pictured the book that way. It's actually nice to be able to listen to the story in a man's point of view.

"Men and their egos." Umirap ako nang makabawi.

Kung ganoon pala ang tingin mo, bakit hindi ka gumaya kay Laurie? Hindi ba't pinairal mo rin naman ang ego mo simula nang magkita tayo uli!

"Men would really learn from Laurie huh? Sana, including you?"

You chuckled. Kaasar talaga.

"Oo naman, like how Laurie brought so much dedication of his love for Jo, that's why readers get to fall in love with her character through him." You smirked while inching closer to whisper to me.

"He loves her for her complicated nature. Like her temper. He loves even her flaws as opposed to men who will get easily turn off."

"Ibabalik ko lang ang libro." Ayaw ko ng dagdagan pa iyon dahil pinamulahanan na ang mukha ko. I don't want to even think and put meaning to your words.

"That book's hella tight. I enjoyed it." At kumindat ka pa talaga!

I really hate you and your smart mouth!

I thank God, hindi ka sumunod sa akin. I'm reminded of how much you affect my system. Nagugulo ang buong pagkatao ko kapag malapit ka.

The day after our incident in the library, nagulat na lang ako dahil may nakaipit na note sa locker ko.

Walang nakalagay na pangalan.

But I knew too well kung kanino galing.

I will never forget your penmanship.

And the quote from the author of Little women.

Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary.

-Louissa May Alcott

I'll remember

-T.A