I'll Remember

Tenth Week

Kayong dalawa ni Heaven ang pinakamalapit sa magpipinsan. The two of you are inseparable. Kaya nga naging close rin kami dahil lagi siyang nasa inyo tuwing bumibisita kami ni Mommy.

I admired your bond with him. Halos pareho kayo ng ugali kaya there's no doubt how you both clicked.

Kapag grounded ka, siguradong grounded din si Heaven. Naaalala mo ba yung nagbake kayo ng chocolate chip cookies? Sobrang kalat sa kitchen dahil pinag laruan niyo yung flour. Then, the cookies tasted horrible. Yung iba, nasunog pa. Tapos, pinakain niyo kay Sly yung cookies and Sly being Sly, hindi siya tatanggi sa pagkain. He ate a lot kasi sabi niyo ililibre niyo siya sa susunod.

Sly had an upset stomach. Kuya Alas was so pissed. Ginawa niya kayong alalay ni Sly for a week. Then, sinigurado niyang matutuloy yung libre niyo, hindi lang kay Sly, kundi sa iba mo pang pinsan. To make things worse, he told both of your mothers not to give you money for the libre. Kaya both of you had to do chores and run errands just to gain money and treat your cousins. Tawang tawa sila Calin kasi sa kanila lang napunta ang pinaghirapan niyo.

Sobrang hate niyo si Kuya Alas. Madalas kayong miserable kasi hindi kayo makapalag sa kanya. But, you said you enjoyed it though.

Because you had Heaven with you. Sa lahat ng kalokohan.

Partners in crime.

Accomplices.

Best friends.

Brothers.

And I would forever hate myself if I'll be the reason for your bond to be destroyed.

I noticed that you were surprised when you saw me waiting outside your class. Lalagpasan mo sana ako pero tinawag kita. Your friends were with you.

Hindi niyo nga lang kasama si Heaven.

Takara seems amused. May mapaglaro siyang ngisi habang tinitignan ako. Inaya niyang umalis ang iba mong kaibigan na kuryosong nakatingin din sa akin.

"Can I talk to you?" I said.

"You're already talking." Malamig mong sagot.

Naiilang ako dahil ang daming nakatingin sa atin. I also got distracted when Heaven appeared. Siya ata ang huling lumabas sa classroom niyo.

"Troian!" Maligaya niyang bati. He didn't noticed you at first because your back is facing his side. Nawala ang ngisi niya nang tuluyan kang makita.

"Hea-"

"I thought you wanted to talk to me?" You cut me off. Nagtaas ka ng kilay, mukhang iritado na.

"Sky, stop bothering her." Heaven countered.

"Siya ang pumunta rito." You tilted your head and smugly looked at him. "So, you better get going, bro. May pag-uusapan pa kami ni Troian."

Umigting ang panga ni Heaven. Parang pinipigilan lang patulan ka. "Is that so? Then, I'll wait for you outside, Troian." He gently pats my shoulder.

Gustong gusto ko talagang sapakin kayong dalawa nung mga oras na 'yon. I can't believe that both of my best friend are getting into each other's nerves.

Hello?! Lagi kaya kayong magkakampi! Tapos nag-aaway kayo ngayon? Bakit?!

Dahil lang sakin?

Idiots! I'm not worth it!

"Now, what is it?" You looked so bored. Tumitingin ka pa sa relo mo.

Napansin mo sigurong naiilang ako dahil may mga nakatingin kaya pinasunod mo ko pabalik sa classroom niyong wala ng tao.

"Magkaaway ba kayo ni Heaven?" Diretsahang tanong ko.

"What do you think?"

"Kung galit ka sa akin, dapat sa akin lang!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang inis ako.

Oh Sky, you've been doing really well in pushing my buttons. At di pa kasama roon ang mga babae mo!

"Why are you so bothered?" You took a step closer to me. "Gusto mo siya?"

"The hell are you saying? Of course, I'm concerned! You've been treating him badly ever since I came back!"

"Buti pa kay Heaven, concerned ka." You scoffed.

"Heaven is my friend."

"And I'm not?"

I felt a pang on my chest. For a moment, you look pained too. But the sadness in your eyes quickly vanished.

"The Troian I knew will scold me for not studying hard." Naglakad ka pa palapit sa akin at paatras naman ako ng paatras. I felt the cold wall behind me.

You placed both of your hands beside me, cornering me in the process. My breathing hitched when you softly pressed your head in my shoulder looking so defeated.

"Wala na ko sa honor roll. Dapat galit ka na. You should've come to me and nag all day."

I can feel the tears on the verge of falling from my eyes.

"I played with girls. Damn, I thought you'll confront me about it. Tangina, sana galit ka. Sana apektado ka."

You raised your head and looked straight at me. "I'm an asshole. My Troian would've called me for it. Magagalit siya sa akin." You smiled bitterly. "But you showed no sign of concern. You avoided me."

I knew from the start that you were edging me to confront you. You provoked me with your girls. Ako ang laging sinisisi. Gusto mong kausapin kita.

But I was a coward.

"But when it comes to Heaven... fuck." Nag-iwas ka ng tingin.

"S-Sky, I'm sorry." Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtulo ng mga luha sa mga mata ko.

"Bakit ang dali dali mong pansinin ang ibang tao?" Pumungay ang mga mata mo nang makita akong umiiyak. You softly wiped my tears. "Hush, baby, huwag kang umiyak, I might think your tears are meant for me."

"Stop confusing me, Troian. You came to me for Heaven's ass. Huwag kang umiyak dahil baka umasa ako."

Marami akong gustong sabihin, but I didn't find the voice to say it. My tears kept on falling as you looked at me. Seeing you like this, thinking that I wasn't worried or concerned about you, made my heart ache.

Hindi totoo 'yon, Sky.

"I-I'm sorry." The only words I could utter. And I hated how I can't express my feelings well. How I wanted to say words of comfort and how I wanted to convey what I feel.

Mariin kang pumikit.

"I'm sorry too." You gently pulled me in a hug. "It's okay. Our sorries are enough. From now on, I'll be good, baby."

Alam mong hindi ako magaling sa mga salita. You know me so well, even when I can't fully express how I feel. And in the end, you were the one who comforted me because I wasn't able to do so.

You comforted us both, thus my pain and yours slowly fades away.

I'll remember

-T.A