Letters To Harry

2 - Alanna or Alan??

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey guys! So at the moment I don't know how often I will be able to update my fanfic, but I'll try for every Friday night...but that depends on what response my story is getting :) Please share it with people and tell them to vote/fan me! Your comments would be appreciated<3

~Mrs Stylesxx

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"Harry? Harry? HAROLD EDWARD MILWARD STYLES!"

Liam's voice finally broke through the sound barrier I had subconsciously built up around myself. Fuck. Ever since I'd read that letter, I hadn't been able to focus on anything for long without wondering how she was doing...

I hadn't exactly been shocked, however I had been absolutely distraught after reading Alanna's letter. Of course I knew we had plenty of fans (sorry, DIRECTIONERS), who were going through tough times, but for some reason, this one girl's letter had affected me hugely.

Maybe it was the sweet vulnerability the letter was written in, the tone of it that made me want to help her, to protect her. Maybe the slight note of desperation that killed me inside. I don't know what it was, but I could feel that this girl was special. After just one letter, one single piece of fan mail, I had fallen in love with Alanna.

"HARRY!"

Oops, guess I drifted off again.

"Sorry Liam" I said sheepishly, forcing a small smile so he wouldn't guess that anything was wrong. Clearly, the other boys had noticed that there was something distracting me. We had just started working on our new album and I could NOT stay focused. It was called 'In Your Arms' and all I could think about was Alanna. Had she hurt herself again? Was she okay? Why wasn't anyone helping her?!

I gave my head a quick shake, dislodging the curls our stylist had so carefully arranged for our interview a few hours later. Oops, sorry Mommy Lou! Anyways, whatever was happening with Alanna couldn't affect my working. I didn't even know her for cats' sake!

"Right," I said decidedly "So, what are we working on now?"

Louis rolled his eyes at me. "Actually, Hazza my dear, we are headed off to the Alan Carr interview. Y'know, the one you let me pick out your outfit for?"

His eyes sparkled when he said this part and my heart warmed a bit.

I nodded, acting completely on top of things.

"Let's go then!"

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Dear Harry,

I wanna be with you and hear you say the words. I want you to think I'm beautiful, to tell me you love me. I want you to laugh at my jokes and be my best friend. I want you to hug me and protect me. I want you to block out all that's bad and everything trying to hurt me, including myself.

This week has been a little better, but still hard. Why don't I start with the positive?

My best friend came home from Scotland yesterday! She's at my house right now (she stayed the night) sleeping while I'm writing you. She was visiting an aunt who's getting a bit old and needs some extra help around...she's a really sweet girl, I think you'd like her.

The Script's new album came out!!! :D Their music is so amazing, I love love love their songs "If You Could See Me Now" "Six Degrees Of Separation" and "Glowing" the most I think, but they're all amazing! You like them too, don't you?

I also went to the movies with my best guy friend, Thomas. He and I went out a long time ago...but that didn't end well. I'm just glad we're friends now. We went to see Catching Fire : Part 2 from The Hunger Games series. I LOVE THOSE!!! You know now that McDonald's has nothing to do with it right? ;)

Well, at some point I am also gonna have to tell you the bad stuff, it may as well be now.

I found out Sunday that my parents are getting a divorce..my dad's been going out nights and cheating on my mum. They start the process next Thursday and I have to be there. When I found out I was in the bathroom and next thing I knew my wrists were bleeding again and a toothbrush was shoved down my throat. I'm so sorry, I try so hard...but it never works.

On the upside of that, I haven't done either of those things since that day, so almost a whole week! Maybe it doesn't sound too impressive, but for me that's amazing.

I've been listening to some of the songs from your first album a lot lately, "Moments" "More Than This" and "One Thing", and wondering what prompted you to put them on the album. They're amazing, and I really relate to them at the moment.

Shut the door, turn the lights off...

...heart beats harder, time escapes me...

...and the tears stream down my face...

...if we could only turn back time.

I name my butterflies after you, you know. The ones that cover my wrists when I am able to participate in the Butterfly Project. I'm supposed to name them after the someone I love. I've named some after the other boys, but yours are the ones that always last the longest. What I feel for you isn't just a silly schoolgirl crush, I honestly love you<3

You saved me, but when you leave it's gone again...

...it just don't feel right...

...I pray that you will see the light.

These letters aren't even real, I don't know why I'm writing them, I'll never send them to you...I don't know. I love you so much Harry.

You're my kryptonite...

...frozen and can't breathe...

...something's gotta give now...

...I need you here with me now.

Harry please, never change. Never do what I have done, you're worth so much more than this. I love you more than anything in the world. No matter what happens, never stop being that sweet, beautiful, talented 16-year-old boy from Holmes Chapel who I fell in love with.

Won't stop til we surrender, right?

You're amazing, Just The Way You Are<3

~Alannaxoxox