i'm your a to z | jihancheol

bullying seungcheol day

chapter 13

Am I gay?

Am I in love with my friend?

Can I be attracted to two people at once?

That was what Joshua's search history consisted of. Ever since the first time he'd slept with Jeonghan, and the first time he saw Seungcheol's arms, he'd been questioning his sexuality.

Well.

He might have been questioning in middle school but convinced himself he was straight. He liked girls, isn't that what being gay isn't. Being the "church boy" from a religious family, he grew up around homophobic people, leading to him believing homosexuality was bad.

Until he met a cute boy named Seokmin, who was visiting Los Angeles for a month. He always thought about the boy and sometimes even had dreams of him. He continued thinking about him after he left. But he convinced himself it was a phase for years.

But of course, he met Seungcheol and Jeonghan. Not only was he possibly bisexual, but also polyamorous.

He sighed and deleted his search history before standing up from the table to go into Jeonghan's room. The boy slept a lot.

He sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair, with a smile. Jeonghan's blond hair made him look like an angel and he wouldn't be surprised if he really was one.

Except angels aren't as mischievous as him.

Jeonghan stirred in his sleep then frowned. He turned to his side before muttering something. Joshua stayed still, wondering if he'd woken him up, trying to listen.

"Stop..." Jeonghan said and his eyebrows furrowed. "N-no, don't.."

"Hannie?" Joshua called, softly.

"Stop." Jeonghan's voice got louder and there were tears coming out of his eyes. "I said I was sorry!"

He was kicking the sheets, crying loudly. Joshua's eyes widened and immediately shook his shoulder.

"Hannie, wake up!" he called.

There was no use, for Jeonghan kept kicking the sheets and his cries got louder. Panic settled into Joshua as he shook his shoulder faster.

"Jisoo, move." Seungcheol's voice was heard from behind him.

Joshua turned to see the man in just sweatpants walking into the room. Now isn't the time to admire his abs, Joshua Hong. He got off the bed and let Seungcheol sit on the spot.

"Jeonghan!" he shouted and pat his cheek. He shook his shoulder and in no time, Jeonghan woke up.

"St-stop!" Jeonghan kept crying but it surprised Joshua to see Seungcheol hold him close. "Get him away!"

"Shh, calm down," he spoke softly. "He's not here, it was just a bad dream."

Joshua watched as Seungcheol comforted the boy. He didn't even have time to wonder who 'he' was. Eventually, his cries had gotten quieter and he was hugging the other. The scene was the least expected thing Joshua had witnessed.

"Better now?" Seungcheol asked as he wiped Jeonghan's tears away.

"Mhm." He nodded and rested his head against the man's chest. "It felt so real.."

His voice cracked.

"Jisoo, get him some water."

Joshua randown and into the kitchen. He ignored Hayoung sitting on the couch, on her phone, and walked back up with water. Noire was sitting on Jeonghan's lap and Seungcheol sat behind him, hands trying to tie Jeonghan's hair.