i'm your a to z | jihancheol

making flower crowns with a (former) gang leader

chapter 18

Jeonghan woke up to Joshua shouting English words. Jeonghan wasn't the best at the language but he did know some of those words and they weren't the nicest.

"Good morning to you too?" Jeonghan sat up.

"Oh, hey." Joshua looked surprised. "Sorry you had to hear that.

"That's alright, I understood almost nothing anyways. What got you so mad early in the morning?"

"Work, as always. Apparently, I have to go in today or I'm not getting the job back but I'm not ready to go back."

"Oh." Jeonghan kept forgetting Jisoo had responsibilities and a well-paying job. "Good luck?"

"You don't sound too happy." Joshua frowned.

"Huh?" he asked, acting like he didn't know what he was talking about. "Oh, I'm just tired."

"Alright then." Joshua smiled and got off the bed, the other following. "Well, I have to get ready now."

Jeonghan frowned and walked to the bathroom. The fact that Joshua had a job still made him upset but he couldn't let his sadness make his friend sad as well.

When he walked out of the bathroom after washing his face, Seungcheol had walked into the hallway. It just had to be him this early in the morning.

"There you are," the older man said.

"You were looking for me?" Jeonghan crossed his arms. He wasn't even sad about what had happened the day before because that sadness turned to anger and irritation.

"Yeah, I wanted to apologize."

"Pfft, alright. For?" He knew exactly what he meant but he wanted to hear.

"For yelling at you and hurting your wrist." He sighed as if he was tired of being nice. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." Jeonghan wasn't upset at that but he didn't believe Seungcheol was being sincere. "Did you apologize to Jisoo?"

Seungcheol nodded.

Rather than replying, Jeonghan only walked past him and walked down to see Joshua put his bag on.

"You're leaving this early?" Jeonghan asked with a frown. He knew it would happen so why was he still sad? He didn't want to be sad. "How long are you going to be gone?"

"Hm?" Joshua turned around. "I'll be back by the evening."

"That long?" his voice cracked. Stupid dysfunctional vocal chord.

Joshua nodded but then looked up at him.

"Are you sad?" The American finally realized. "It's not that long, I'll be back before-"

"I don't care," he interrupted. "I don't want you to leave."

"Hannie, what are you saying, it's only for a few hours."

"I said I don't care." He couldn't look at him but he kept speaking. "One day, you're going to be gone and I'm going to be alone and I'm scared of that after all I've been through. I'm glad you got your job but at the same time, I'm upset about it. Call me selfish but I don't want you to leave.

I don't want to be alone again."

Jeonghan heard no reply but he felt arms around him. He didn't even realize he was crying into the other's shoulder until thumbs were wiping the tears away. Hands moved to stroke his hair to calm him down.