i'm your a to z | jihancheol

ways to heal

chapter 37

The night before, a ring from Seungcheol's phone had woke him up in the middle of the night. Wondering who was calling him at such an ungodly hour, the man turned to check, a small groan leaving him when he saw it was his father. Despite not wanting to talk to him right now, he answered.

"Hello dad, what is it?" he asked, curious as to what was so important that he'd remembered to contact his youngest son.

"It's about your mother," the man responded in a quiet voice: another surprise from him.

"What about her?"

"She's gone."

Seungcheol's heart fell upon hearing the words. He had to have heard wrong. Or maybe he was thinking of the wrong thing. No way would his mother be... gone?

"She's what?"

"Gone, Seungcheol," he repeated and his voice cracked. "An accident happened."

"Are you coming back?" Seungcheol asked, his voice becoming shaky. As much as he didn't exactly love his parents, he never wanted such a thing to happen.

"In a week."

Seungcheol hung up once the answer had been given. His mother was gone. It wasn't like the many times she was gone on work trips or vacations. This time, she wasn't returning.

Seungcheol couldn't cry out of shock.

He quite enjoyed the silence he'd gotten for a few hours knowing the other boys were asleep. There was no way he could fall asleep again though; he wasn't tired anymore.

It was just him and his thoughts again.

The day passed without him speaking a single word to anyone beside his eldest brother when he called. He was going to visit his father too and neither of them even thought to invite Seungcheol. He couldn't blame them, he had always been a terrible person to the woman. What kind of son was he?

Sure, his mother had always neglected him but he didn't have to be as rude as he was to her.

The man was filled with rage; he couldn't even be sad anymore.

And just when you thought you were getting better, he told himself, a scoff leaving him at the thought. How many times did he think he was getting better at controlling himself but it had always backfired?

"Hey, Seungcheol," Jeonghan's voice called from the doorway. "Joshua wants to know if you want something from the store."

The elder only shook his head without taking his eyes off the laptop screen.

"Is anything the matter?"

He shook his head again, hoping Jeonghan would take the hint and leave him alone. Although somehow at the same time, he didn't want to be lonely. He was always the type to like being alone but not lonely.

"I'll tell him to get cherry ice cream then," the younger informed and walked off, closing the door behind him.

Seungcheol didn't know if he was more surprised by the fact Jeonghan actually left or the fact he remembered his favorite ice cream flavor –was it just a lucky guess?– but nonetheless, he was confused.

"Thanks," he finally said but it was too late.

Seungcheol sat around in bed, wallowing in his depression again as he waited for Joshua to return home. Once again, he couldn't say a word when Jeonghan had tossed a container of cherry ice cream to him, a spoon following after. He had to admit, the ice cream made him forget his sadness for a bit. That's the magic of ice cream, he thought to himself with a small smile as he enjoyed the silence.