Theodosia

Chapter 12

"Get rid of any thoughts. Any fears. The force will guide you."

Astrid sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, centering on the force. "I can't do it," she said finally.

They were standing outside of the temple, gazing up at the tall spires of the old building. They had been working on force jumps and for the most part, Astrid had succeeded. Her confidence only faltered when he turned the lesson up a notch; she didn't think it possible to jump onto the roof like he instructed.

"Yes, you can. Take a deep breath and focus," Qui-Gon said from behind her.

"Master, is this payback for not meditating yesterday? Because I swear I'll do it today-"

"Astrid, focus. You cannot allow your emotions to hinder you," he said in a tone that left no room for argument. She grimaced, looking back at the high roof.

It wasn't that high, she lied to herself, the roof was short. It's not like she could miss her target and fall to her death with no one around to know where her corpse was besides an old jedi ghost-

"Padawan," Qui-Gon said sternly, having sensed she was getting distracted.

"What if I..." she trailed off, groaning internally. It was impossible! Gravity wasn't even on her side. "Okay, okay," she muttered, coming up to a short run. It's fine, she thought, it's fine.

She picked up her speed as she ran towards the roof and used all her powers to enable her to jump high, the force lifting her into the air, almost to eye level with the roof.  She laughed, relieved, before she felt something stirring in her mind. She was familiar enough that she knew that it was a resurfacing memory. She blinked, slightly thrown off before she came to the realisation that her aim was just a little bit inaccurate and that she could not reach the roof.

She started flailing in the air, releasing waves of energy to keep her in the air. Cursing out loud, she started her descent towards the ground.

She shrieked, holding her hands up in front of her. The ground was getting closer and closer and if it weren't for the split second realisation that she had the force, she would have died from the fall. Summoning up her power, she flung her hand out. There was a moment when she was just inches above the ground before her body dropped down onto the ground gently.

She looked up to see Qui-Gon looking down at her. "What's bothering you?"

She sat up, confused. "Nothing's bothering me... And anyway, what would have happened if I hadn't reacted on time? I would have died," she added softly, feeling slightly betrayed.

"You're getting distracted by something. It's stopping you."

"I don't like heights," she mumbled, squashing down the memory. Qui-Gon made a disapproving sound but said nothing else on the matter, telling her to try again.

The next try was slightly more successful; she had managed to reach the roof and only stumbled a bit because she lost her balance. She tried again and again, feeling more tired with every attempt.

On what seemed like her tenth try, she leapt into the air and was just about to reach the high roof before-

"I don't like this!" her own voice screamed in her head, followed by someone's deep laugh. 

"Calm down. We're not going to crash," the other voice said. She saw the view from the cockpit, how the galaxy seemed to be zooming by. Beside her was Ren. He looked so at home behind the controls of the ship.

"Can we head back to base now? I don't want to die-"

"Here, we're going to try spinning," he said just as he spun the ship around fast. Her scream was drowned out and faded into her own real scream as she realised she was falling to the ground outside the temple.