Theodosia

Chapter 30

Sitting still in the cockpit of her ship, Theo held her breath as the ship neared the Finalizer. She had been anticipating her return, granted it came prematurely, and now found herself bracing herself for the worst.

What would Ren say? He'd surely be angry. Ditching all contact for a whole year wasn't exactly a way to say 'I love you'. And he was sensitive. As much as he hid behind the Kylo Ren demeanour, he was an emotional guy...a sad man.

"Force," she mumbled under her breath, rubbing at her temples. The ship was still suspended a distance away from the Finalizer. She wasn't in the First Order's grasp. Not yet.

She could always turn back now. Turn the ship around and run away again. Again. She gritted her teeth, grounding herself with her mission.

Mustering up the courage, she pressed the intercom on the control panel. "Requesting permission to come on board, A-1 aircraft number 546," she said slowly.

She released the button, waiting with bated breath. What if Ren had given up on her; had been too hurt that he'd shut her out just like how she did? Or what if he would be waiting at the hangar as soon as those at the station alerted him of her return, ready to throw accusations at her which she knew were coming? His silence or his rage. She didn't know which one was worse.

Turn back now. You fought so hard to leave and you're strolling back in.

She shut her eyes. "Identification?" The crackle of the intercom reaffirmed her mission.

"Com-" she paused, swallowing as she realised she had to resume her duties as commander. She had only been someone's Padawan for the past year. Anything else seemed peculiar. Anything else didn't seem like herself.

Subconsciously, she lifted her hand to touch her padawan braid, forgetting for a moment that it wasn't there anymore. Qui-Gon had guided her to cut if off with her white saber a few weeks back. He deemed he had nothing more to teach her and, in the time since her 'knighthood', they had just worked on mindfulness, often spending the days meditating and basking in the living force. The title of padawan stuck with her though, more out of sentiment than formality.

"Commander Hale," she finally said. There was silence on the other line.

"Any other passengers on board?" came the question after a while.

"A BB-9E droid, unit 394," she said, turning back to pat the droid gently. "You'll always be Frankie to me," she whispered softly. The droid beeped back softly in response.

"Permission granted. Proceed to lot 3."

She took a deep breath. Alright, this was fine. She would act her part again. The Finalizer's hangar door opened, and she flew in, half expecting to see Ren there, standing there, angry.

She shook her head. She had a mission. Find Ren. Warn him about Palpatine's return. Find some way of warning the Resistance as well. Space battle here, space battle there. The rest was all variables. She hated variables, but she'd have to wing it.

When she exited the ship, the hangar was nearly empty except for the watchtower above and a unit of Stormtroopers patrolling. Frank rolled to be beside her. Nodding in greeting as she passed the Stormtroopers, she blended in quite well.

She had donned her grey uniform back at the temple and even looking at herself in the mirror was an unpleasant sight. She had brought the uniform with her before she left and had kept it in her bag all the while she was there at the Temple, leaving it forgotten for a whole year. The usual crisp and neat uniform was a bit wrinkled now. Not exactly First Order approved attire, but she'd have to make do.