Theodosia

Chapter 32

On the journey back towards the base, she could feel his nervousness. Though he said nothing, his form was rigid, hands clenched in fists as he stared straight ahead. They were in the Falcon.

When Rey called for a pickup, they had responded straight away as she sent over their coordinates. When Rey, Ben and Theo walked into the ship, its occupants had smiled at Rey and those same smiles faltered upon laying eyes on Ben. His father's two best friends...

Suddenly overcome by a rush of nostalgia at the sight of Chewbacca, especially, he had given them a stiff nod, feeling all but ten years old again. Chewbacca and Lando were in the cockpit now; Rey was with them, presumably pleading his case, he was sure.

But he saw it. The way they regarded him. He had killed his father. He killed their best friend. There was no simply forgiving him for that act no matter how redeemed he was.

Chewbacca- his Uncle Chewie from way back- roared at him. He hadn't gotten over Han's death, and Ben hardly doubted he ever would. Shrugging his shoulders slightly, he had slinked away from the Wookie. Still, though they were friendly enough to him, Lando even going as far as to tell him "Try and get some rest, kid", he wouldn't let his guard down. Couldn't even if he tried.

"Ben."

He turned his head, seeing Theo leaning at the doorway. Her uniform was covered in dried blood; her hair a mess from the blows she had taken before getting healed. But she was otherwise calm, more focused on him than herself.

She walked up to him as the Falcon started up and stumbled into the seat beside him, tired. She grasped his hand, pressing a small kiss to it before wrapping an arm around him.

Despite himself, he leaned into her, staring at the ground. He had missed this. As much as he dreaded what was to come, he was grateful she was back with him. Relieved even. She and Rey seemed to be the only two who thought of him as Ben.

Silence hung between them; they both knew what was coming. As much as the redeemed Ben Solo meant to both her and Rey, the Resistance might not see it as such. He had to answer for what he did as Kylo Ren...and that wasn't something you could sweep under the rug.

"War criminals aren't exactly welcomed with open arms," he said lowly.

She stiffened, knowing full well what he meant. But perhaps the Resistance had different rules. The First Order would interrogate the captive by any means necessary. And then, once the captive was of no use anymore, a blaster to the head was carried out quickly and the body disposed of within the hour. Her stomach churned at the thought. "They accepted me?" she offered lightly.

He didn't know how to break it to her that she didn't have the reputation of carrying out mass slaughters. Or patricide. Or wiping out entire systems- though perhaps that was on Hux.

"I'll talk to Poe."

Oh, yes. Torture as well.

He said nothing in response, eyes turning back to the ship's wall. Being in the Falcon itself was...revolting. In a good way. A very sick, good way. He remembered all the times his father brought him on board. All the flying lessons he received when flying seemed to be the one thing he could bond over with his father.

Guilt again.

Theo sensed this in him, knowing that being here wasn't easy for him and returning to the base would be even harder. And of course, there was the whole list of war crimes he had to answer to. She brought up her hand to the side of his face, turning it back to her. She didn't speak until he met her eyes.

"If you want, we can leave," she said softly. His eyes widened a fraction.

"You don't need to do that for me."