Theodosia

Chapter 14

"You haven't eaten anything."

Theodosia looked away from the window as Kylo Ren walked in.

"I don't feel like it," she mumbled, turning back to the window as she stared out at the galaxy. They were on the Finalizer, she recalled, flying somewhere in space. After gaining her memories, she didn't know what to do. Despite knowing about her past, she felt like she didn't know herself anymore. That 'Astrid Jones' was a completely different person than what she was. She felt isolated from herself, and she hated, really, really hated the stupid mistakes she made in her past.

She had known her past was bad. She knew she killed people. But accidentally killing your own parents because she lost control? She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to. And she was working hard with keeping it pressed down in her mind, buried somewhere in her subconscious. The worst part was that she had no one to blame but herself. There were still things undiscovered in her mind, her memory was mostly back but there were still some things nagging at her, stirring a small storm.

"You need to eat something. The Supreme Leader is bound to call for your presence any time soon. You'll need your strength," he said. Her lip quivered slightly, afraid of Snoke. She didn't even know what she was doing here. She could run away tonight, in fact, once Ren stopped keeping her under his watch.

But where to? The Resistance probably won't take her back, not when she was a killer. And especially not now that it's confirmed she was a primary fighter in the First Order, Commander Hale, Ren had reminded her. Shit, she thought, she had nowhere to go. And now she really was stuck with the one person she kept trying to get a hold of.

"How did you find me?" she asked quietly.

The couch she was sitting on sunk in a bit as he sat beside her. "When we connected through the Force. I followed your force signature to the temple," he replied.

"And you brought me back here..."

"Theo, this is where you belong. When you got taken away, I didn't know what to do. I felt you the next day when you used the Force, and I tracked you. I kept following your force signature, but I never found you. Until yesterday," he said and then adding slowly, "This may not feel like the home you've wanted, but you have me here."

This time she turned to him, meeting his eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed, recognising the warmth in his eyes. The familiar eyes she saw in someone else. "Do you even like it here?"

"That's not important."

"It is though," she said. "You don't belong here as well, do you?"

"Where's this coming from?" he asked.

"Your eyes, Ren," she said gazing into those beautiful brown orbs of his. If there was anything about his handsome face and luscious hair, it was his eyes that called out to her. "I've seen them before... In Leia."

He stiffened beside her, his jaw clenched ever so slightly. "I don't know what you heard but, I have no relation to that woman," he said through gritted teeth.

"She means something to you, doesn't she?" she asked, noticing his agitation. And she remembered the way Leia was so upset when she had mentioned him. How the woman had withdrawn into her own world of sadness whenever the great Kylo Ren was brought up. Her eyes widened.

"You're her son, aren't you?" she asked. "General Organa's son-"

"You're treading on very thin ice here," he warned.

"You're..." she trailed off, trying to make sense of her newfound memories. "Then why are you here in the First Order when your mum is the general of the Resistance?"