Love Me Like I Do

18.

For the past few months, Amalia became so aggressive that she will throw tomato on me after seeing me walk through the lobby of my very hotel. She's  losing it, she knows. Wala siyang magagawa. Her connections happened to be some connections I can easily breakthrough. Not the way she did but in most decent way.

"Magbabayad ka! Hindi mo alam kung sino ang kinakalaban mo! You don't know the DT family. You don't know me!" Kinailangan pa siyang kaladkarin ng mga guards para makaalis na siya.

I have no fear now.

She made me fearless. After knowing everything that could untangle her from her connections. She was not so good to those people. Alam ng mga taong iyon na naaalala lang sila ng bruhang iyon kapag may kailangan siya. And that's really not a good impression.

"What happened to you? You look like shit!" KC exclaimed the moment

"Amalia and her shits. Nagkakalat na naman sa labas. Palibhasa alam niyang  talo na siya. Mali siya ng kinalaban. Hindi ko siya titigilan hangga't hindi ko siya nakikitang nagdudusa at nagsisisi sa ginawa niya sa amin." How dare she ruined our family? Kung pera lang pala ang gusto niya sana pera lang din ang kinuha niya pero pati ang pagiging pamilya namin, nasira niya rin. I can't even look at my father without disgusting his face. I can surely spit on his face if I want but that's not right. Sabihin man ni mommy na hindi niya kasalanan, he still contributed to ths tragedy. If only he was a little more faithful to mommy. If only he fought the temptation Amalia gave him. If only he told us earlier.

But everything was too late when he realized that he made a mistake. Nacorner na siya ni Amalia and he was so afraid that we would get hurt once he tried to get out. That's his explanation and I found it bullshit. Alam ni papa that no one could touch us without our permission yet he did what he did. And our family was the price.

Kaya  kahit gaano ko pa isipin, hinding hindi ko kayang intindihin kung bakit gano'n gano'n lang kung iwan niya kami.

Fuck Amalia!

Fuck reasons!

Fuck that love!

Love can be anyone's vulnerability and I refuse to be anyone. Hindi ko gugustuhing matulad ako sa mga magulang ko na nasira dahil lang sa letseng pagmamahal na iyan. I thought love is what can mend me. But it breaks me over and over. Now, I lose faith in love.

Wala na siguro akong ibang iniisip kundi ang umangat at ibaon sa lupa ang lahat ng competitors ng kompanya ko. We expanded to other industry hanggang pati ang furniture industry at real estate. ZK is even recognized internationally for its achievements.

"Gosh, you are so successful now, Lauren. Happy birthday!" I celebrated my birthday in L.A. with friends and closest family members. My dad's with us also. I figured out na hindi ko rin naman maipagkakaila na pinatawad ko na si papa nung narinig ko ang totoong nangyari noon. Sa gulat at galit lang siguro kaya hindi ko siya pinapansin noon.

As years pass by, I got all the achievements people on my age could ever wish for. But still, I feel so empty.

Hindi ko na rin pinansin ang alam kong dahilan ng kakulangan ko. Hindi  ko na ulit sinilip ang bahaging iyon ng buhay ko sa takot na masaktan ko lang ang sarili ko.

"Thank you for always backing up. I owe you a lot." Chloe smiled and reached for my hands.

"I know this sounded so aweful of me but I gotta tell you a secret." Bigla akong kinabahan sa paraan ng paghaplos niya sa kamay ko.

"Yeah, tell me. You're making me nervous."

"Remembered when you asked help for political connections? I contacted Uncle Sam for that and he said that I should consider it done. He was working for this agency and their boss was a powerful man that can influence even a country's President decision. When I asked Uncle Sam who the heck that person was, he said that he was Henry De Travis." Napabitaw ako sa kamay ni Chloe. Wait, what? Am I hearing things right? Kinakain lang ba ako ng mga napagtagumpayan ko? Panaginip ba ito lahat? Kasi kung oo, kahit na ang sarap sa pakiramdam ng nasa itaas, gusto kong bumangon na.

"Knowing that he's the father of Azrieel, I refused the idea. But he found out about his mom's doing and  he was so against it. He went to Europe to avoid her mother and live with the DT Family in Germany. Then, he heard of his mother hurting your reputation, asking your father to  stain your company's name forever, he automatically told his dad about his opinion on the matter. He bargained his life to save your company's ass. He is now managing the DT Incorporated in all parts of Europe being the CEO." Being the CEO of DT Inc.? That's his nightmare. Ayaw na ayaw niyang magtrabaho roon. Tandang tanda ko pa ang mga sinabi niya na walang makakapilit sa kanya sa rason na yan.

"I know it's weird but what other reason to make your mom suffer when afterall she's your fucking mother?" I looked at Chloe and saw that she's eager to get an answer, she's eager to make me realize something that's impossible.

"Chlo, is it important now? Everything wreck me and I am just building my new life without those people. Whatever reason he has, the thing is it was done. That's what is important. Nothing else." She sighed. For some reason, I knew I just lied. Why would he do that? Maybe he was just trying to correct his mom. Maybe it was his way of caring for her. And maybe it has nothing to do with me.

"I hope you got it right, Lauren. I hope you won't regret it."

I spent the whole night greeting and thanking people for congratulating me. Pero kahit anong waglit ko sa isipan ko ang sinabi ni Chloe, it just won't. Totoo kaya? Or is this anothet bluff?

Only one way to find out.

"Detective Tuazon." I said as soon as he picked up.

"Yes, Miss Blythe. Why are you calling this late?" Mukhang kakagising niya lang. It's 1am  and I am here bughing some people's sleep.

"I'm sorry, detective. May ipapahanap sana akong tao. His family name is famous so I think he's easy to find."

"Or maybe the contrary. You see famous people usually keeps their whereabouts private but I am not a PI for nothing. Who's this person that you want me to find?"

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago siya sinagot. I don't know if I'm breaking some law but I need to find him.

"He's Yuan Azrieel De Travis."

"Oh. A DT. Seems like my bounty is no ordinary. Okay. I'll update you if I get any information."

"Thank you, detective. I owe you this. Good night."

A DT. Seems like my bounty is no ordinary. What does he mean by that? May mga bagay ba tungkol kay Yuan ang hindi ko alam? Bakit ngayon ko lang napansin ang mga misteryo na to? Am I so blinded? Fuck my naive-ity.

"Chloe."

I heard moans and groans in the background. Oh shit. Wrong timing.

"I-I'll just call you back."

"No, no. It's fine. I'll hold it." Narinig kong nagbubulungan sila sa background.

"Okay. What is it honey?"

"I-I just wanna say sorry and thank you for informing me."

"Ahh. Fuck, harder." Napasapo ako sa aking noo. Of all the times I would call, ngayon pa talaga na may kabalbalan silang ginagawa ni Andrew.

"You know what, I'll just call you first thing in the morning. You just uhm- enjoy your night, I guess?"

"Yeah sure. Ohh, fuck me harder baby. Harder. Ahh"

Napasinghap ako sa mga pinagsasabi niya at agad kong ibinaba ang telepono. Napaka talagaaa.