Love Me Like I Do

21.

"The engagement of  the heir of De Travis Incorporated and the  Marchioness of England has been formally announced. Lady Nadia is the favorite great granddaughter of London's monarch. This wedding is said to be the wedding of the decade as everyone might have known that De Travis, Inc. is the largest company in London. -"

Everyone knew about my connection with Azrieel. Pansin na pansin ko sa mga titig ng mga tao, lalo na ng mga board, ang simpatya. It's not as if wala na akong makikitang ibang lalaki. Tss.

But maybe this is the disadvantage na  maraming nakakaalam ng story mo. Everyone's eyes are such a bother. Iyong kahit gusto mong kalimutan na nasasaktan ka, pero pilit nilang pinapaalala na may  sakit kang dapat damahin. I know I'll be fine. Not now, but in the right time. Pero hindi naman siguro masamang lumimot muna sa sakit ngayon hindi ba?

Isa pa, he's doing that for their company. Kaya bakit ko pa pipigilan? Lahat naman ginive-up ko dati para maibangon ang kompanya diba? So sino ako para mag-inarte ngayon?

"Miss Blythe, okay lang po ba kayo?" I almost nag at my secretary kung hindi ko lang napansin ang mariin kong hawak sa mga papel na dahilan para mapunit ang ibang pahina.

I closed my eyes to compose myself. Relax, hindi pwedeng maisawsaw ang personal issues sa mga trabaho ko. I am facing my own company's problems kaya hindi ko na dapat isipin pa ang ibang bagay.

"Ask Mr. Deligado to provide another copy of this. Tell them I tore it in accident." Tumango lang ang secretary ko at umalis.

For the past few days, bahay, opisina lang ang ruta ko. Nakakapagod pero kailangan para may diversion ako. Just like the old days. Just like when I have to be stern and cool at everything even if it's fucking shaking me down to the ground.

I should accept my fate. Kung tatanda akong mag-isa, then so be it. I have a extravagant status in life, ano pa ba ang hihilingin ko?

"Hey Lauren. Umalis ka muna sa lungga mo." Halos mapatalon ako sa biglaang pagpasok ng mga kaibigan ko. By friends, I mean everyone in my circle in LA.

"What are you doing here?" Tumayo  ako para salubungin sila.

"May bagong bukas na bar. Baka naman gusto mong pumunta. Speed Chase is the owner of that bar andI heard you were invited. Dude, you're getting boring." May halong pagtatampo ang boses ni Andrew. True that I received a letter from Speed Chase personally pero hindi naman ako nagsabi na pupunta ako.

"Speed will understand." Sabi ko na lang.

"Uh, sweetie. You know for a fact that Speed is madly into you, right? Will you give my brother a chance to show how much he's grown now?" Andrea said while batting her eyes.

"Kesa naman sa nagmumukmok ka rito at pinagdidiskitahan iyang mga papel sa table mo, let's have some fun.  Nag aalala na sina tita sa'yo." God, why is everybody pushing that thought?

"Why are you like this?"

"Because you're punishing yourself. You're so done with that stage, Lauren. Come on. Start anew. He's getting married. And you don't plan on stopping him. Might as well, get married too."

"As if gano'n lang kadali."

"Kaya nga nirereto ka namin kay Speed Chase."

I rolled my eyes on them. This little punks. Alam ko namang hindi sila titigil hanggat't hindi nila ako napapapayag. So I got my bag and look at them.

"Happy?" They all laughed at me. Tss what a pain in ass, these friends.

Pagdating namin sa bar, sobrang gulo na. Hindi pa nagtatakip silim. But it's as if a party of the year that everyone won't miss to come.

I saw familiar faces. They all smiled at me pero kalaunan ay nagbulong bulungan sila after looking at me, and some even came to me to ask about the recent announcement.

I forced myself to smile as naturally as I could. I knew it was wrong to come here. Almost everyone here knew me at kung hindi pa man lahat, mukhang ngayon, alam na ng lahat batay sa pagtitig nila sa akin. I focused my eyes on my drink. Saglit na nakipagkamustahan at sumagot sa tanong ng karamihan. Fuck this.

"Hey." Speed Chase said when he finally approached our sofa.

"Hey." Nakipagbeso beso kaming lahat sa kanya. I met Speed countless of times lalo na sa LA. He was vulgar of his feelings towards me but he also knew about me. Kaya siguro hindi na siya nagtangka.

Speed is a hunk, I can tell. He's wearing a fitted tshirt na kitang kita mo ang six-pack abs niya. He has broad shoulders and really yummy body I could drool over it if only gusto kong lumandi. With those natural red lips, you will be tempted to kiss him. Those perfect white teeth.

Yes, he is perfectly handsome. No one can deny that. He is Speed Chase Montenegro afterall. It runs in their blood. I should be attractive to him by now but why can't I?

"I thought you won't come." He sat down beside me dahil sinadya naman talaga ng mga gago kong barkada.

"Pinilit lang ako ng mga 'to. Hindi rin ako magtatagal dahil sa dami ng tao. I don't do much in crowd." Tiningnan ko ang paligid. Malaki ang bar pero dahil sa dami ng mga tao, hindi ko na ata kakayaning manatili sa lugar na ito.

"Ah. Okay. Are you fine now?" I just nodded without looking at him. Based on some of my encounter with Speed, nalalaman niya kung nagsisinungaling ako. So rather to shame myself by turning myself in, I would look out of his sight. That way, he won't read my eyes.

"I hope so." He drunk two shots before he bid his good bye. We understood dahil nga sa kanya itong bar kaya busy siya.

"So how did it go?" Chloe asked.

"Hello? Hindi mo ba nakita na snob lang itong kaibigan natin. Haay naku, Lauren. I'm starting to think that you're hopeless for now." I laughed at  Andrea's vent.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry. Eh parang eto lang iyong naranasan ko sa tanang buhay ko ah? Nangyari na ito noon hindi ba? Kinaya ko naman. So walang rason para hindi ko makayanan ito ngayon. Just trust me. I'm in my healing process." I smiled at them assuringly.

They just looked at me and smiled. Alam ko namang nag-aalala lang sila sa akin at naiintindihan ko iyon but I am really fine with what's happening.

Pag uwi ko ng  bahay, gising pa sina mama. They welcomed me with a hug... which is weird. They never do that. Though, they are naturally sweet but this.. they don't do such stuff unless-

"Mom, Dad. What is it?"

"Eh kasi may dumating kanina. Nadia raw eh. Hindi naman namin kilala." Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi nila. Why on earth did Nadia need para puntahan niya ako rito. I mean, we don't really know each other obviously. She's a Marchioness of England.

"Pero no'ng napanood namin iyong balita, I figured out that she's- Anyway, she left this invitation and letter."

Matagal kong tinitigan ang invitation letter sa study table ko, indecisive if I should read the content. Kakayanin ko bang buksan ang sulat na magpapawala ng pag-asa kong sumaya ulit sa parehong tao? Still hesitant, naligo na lang ako baka pagkatapos ay makapagdesisyon na ako.

Pagkatapos kong maligo, I heard my phone beeped. It's an email. Binuksan ko ito at binasa kung saan galing.

This girl, she really knows how to use her connections.