✿Bleeding Petals✿ [BakuDeku]

A Bit of "Good" News

Kirishima and I cuddled on my bed in silence for a bit, until he had to leave again for work. I started crying when he said he had to leave, acting like a baby. He had to calm me down before he left, making him late.

Even after he was gone, I couldn't stop sobbing. I didn't want him to leave me. After he left, I had no one. I was alone. I didn't have Kamminari or Deku. I could call up Ashido, Sero, or Jirou, but we weren't as close as I was with Kami and Kiri, so they probably wouldn't know how to handle my miserable self. So I just sat on my bed, rocking back and forth with my knees to my chest, letting my tears soak my pants. I hated feeling like this. I felt like everything has turned to shit, everyone has turned their backs against me. My best friend refused to talk to me, my boyfriend was convinced I didn't love him, and the man I like was completely clueless as to what was happening.

The rest of the day went by slowly. I ended up not sleeping that night, as I had too much on my mind. In the morning, I called in sick to work. Then, I slept through the rest of the day. I woke up at about 2 in the morning, feeling like literal shit. I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours and my body wasn't used to basically being nocturnal. I was too lazy to get up and make myself food, so I just stayed in bed, staring into the darkness. I checked my phone for the first time in a while. I had a few missed calls from Kirishima and a couple of texts from Deku. I didn't read them, knowing that it would result in me hearing his voice sound through my head, leaving me hacking up roses.

I was miserable. This disease was getting the best of me. Love was so stupid. Why did things have to be like this? It all started with that tip. All I did was compliment his baking and here I am, a position that determines my life or death. Wait... fuck. I a going to die from this. Deku couldn't ever like me back. I was so rude to him.

I heard my phone go off.

Deku: Kacchan. I know it's really early and you're probably asleep, but do you want me to come over? You didn't stop by the bakery today and you fell asleep really early last night. Is everything ok? Do you need to talk?

I turned away from my phone, ignoring it. I wanted to talk to him. But I couldn't. Not without feeling extremely guilty.

Deku: I'm coming over right now. I don't care if your sleeping. Something is wrong and I can't just sit here and do nothing when my friend is feeling upset

As I read it, tears formed for the 6 thousandth time in the past 2 days. He thought of me as a friend. How can I do this to him? How can I live with myself, ignoring Deku, shutting him off, without even so much as an explanation?

I ended up letting it happen, waiting until I heard the knock at door. It can about 20 minutes after I received his text. I groaned and pulled myself out of bed, trodding to the front door. I looked through the peep-hole, and sure enough, Deku was standing out in the corridor. The look on his face broke my heart.

He was bouncing up and down anxiously on his heels, fiddling with his fingers. A worried look was on his face as he looked back and forth, waiting for me to open the door. I did eventually, needing to mentally prepare myself first.

As soon as the door opened, his head shot towards me and we locked eyes. He gave me a huge smile. Fuck. I smelled roses. Not here. Not right now. I put my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom, leaving him dumbfounded at the door. Without even closing the door, I hunched over the toilet and began coughing my lungs out, green rose petals making their way into the bowl. I heard footsteps and quickly flushed the toilet. Deku didn't need to see.

"Kacchan? What's going on? Are you sick or something?" I heard him say from the doorway. I looked up to see his worried face. Seeing him look at me like that shattered my heart into a million pieces. I wanted to tell him what was going on really bad but.... I hated that look. Telling him would only deepen his somber gaze.

"I'm fine" I muttered standing up. "Let's go watch TV or something"

"Ok" Deku replied, following me into the living room. "I'm sorry I didn't bring muffins."

"It's fine. I can't eat right now anyway. My appetite is pretty shit right now"

Deku nodded, sitting on the couch next to me. "Maybe I can cheer you up with some good news. Guess what?"

"Hmm?"

"I said guess!!"

"I CANT GUESS YOU IDIOT!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY SEE AS GOOD NEWS!!" I snapped.

"Sorry sorry" Deku said, throwing his hands up. "Sooo remember Todoroki? I mentioned him once. My ex boyfriend?"

"Sure"

"Wellll.... a few hours ago, as I was cleaning up the bakery before closing, he came in. It was so weird. I hadn't seen him in so long. He's gotten hotter" He paused to giggle and my heart skipped. "Well guess what? He gave me a whole in-person apology! And it ended with a proposal!!"

He stopped, waiting for me to say something. Congratulate him. Cheer. Give him a hug. Something. But I couldn't. I opened my mouth to speak but my throat immediately went dry, preventing words from forming. I felt dizzy. Everything started to go fuzzy. It was so surreal. My heart started to beat faster, faster, faster. I could practically hear it. It rose up to my ears, pounding away, I couldn't hear anything but my heartbeat. I felt tears well up in my eyes, falling down my cheeks. I felt them hit my hands that rested on my legs. But I didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Kacchan?" I heard just barely. Deku's voice rung out, just a bit louder then the pounding of my heart. It sounded muffled but echoed at the same time.

I was scared. And upset. Horrified even. I knew Deku couldn't fall for me. Here he was, engaged to another man. In love with someone other than me. I needed Deku. I wanted Deku. I liked Deku.

I felt my throat get wet again, allowing me to speak. I decided just to congratulate him. He didn't know what was happening anyway. I said it in my mind, over and over until finally I was ready to let it slip out. First I moved my lips to form the word 'Congratulations', hearing it ring out. It was only a whisper, so it might've been hard to hear, but the look on Deku's face as I said it showed he heard. "Get out of my house"

word count: 1210