Jab My Heart [Boy×Boy]

Chapter 30: Jab My Heart

There's nothing like us - Justin Bieber🎶

Not in the mood to act excited for a wedding he knows is not going to happen, AJ spent the night at his apartment. It's quietness was tranquilizing. A good place to think.

AJ thought of millions of scenarios of how breaking the news to Samantha would turn out. As quiet as it was he couldn't sleep, yet he still hadn't found the right words to say to her.

His car came to a halt in front of the Howard mansion. It was a beautiful day. The sky was clear, the air fragranced by dew. Yet he stared at the high walls in dread. Even though he didn't love her enough to stay with her, he respected her enough to tell her the truth.

Samantha stood by the balcony, her face distorted with confusion and worry, staring at nothing in particular. With his head filled with the mission at hand, AJ didn't think much of her cryptic demeanor.

"Can we talk?" AJ leaned by the door frame and waited for her to speak. She tapped her phone against her fingers as if contemplating the answer to his question, which required only one word as an answer.

"Where have you been?"

"At the apartment." He replied with annoying nonchalance that her hands clenched around her phone. She couldn't help but notice that it sounded rehearsed.

"That's where you always sleep these days..." She walked past him into their room, anger clouding her words which AJ immediately picked up.

"Is there something wrong? You've never really had an issue before..." He followed her in and they came to a halt in the centre of the room. Her anger deflated in a silent sigh and she stared at him expectantly, totally ignoring his question. AJ took this as a signal to continue. "Anyway... There is something I need to tell y--"

"I know everything." He stopped and immediately searched her face for what she meant by that, and judging by the disdain in her eyes he knew that she really knew.

"How?"

"So it's true." AJ inhaled before breaking eye contact.

"It's what I wanted to talk about." She let out a shaky breath at his insensitive tone as she slowly sat on the edge of the bed. His admission was equivalent to a slap in the face.

The wedding preparations were all done and she was pregnant. It wasn't exactly the best timing. AJ knew as much too. "It's something I have to do. Please don't make this harder than it already is." Her eyes caught his after his last sentence. By now he was already seated next to her.

"I mustn't make this hard for you?! What about me?! What about the person that's supposed to face everyone and tell them why the wedding is off while you'll be gallivanting god knows where! What am I supposed to say to my family? Your parents?!" AJ tries to hold her hand in attempts to calm her down. "No don't touch me! Do you know the kind of embarrassment and stress you'll put me under? Do you not care about the well-being of our baby?"

"I do... but this is a life and death situation. I will be back."

"Damn right it is because when you do come back, you might not have a son to come back to." AJ dropped his gaze, slightly frustrated. He got it. He should stay and be a good father. He heard everything she said. He just didn't agree. He leaves, he might lose his son. He stays and Jimmy might get hurt.

It was all just a matter of attachment and priority. He saw himself being able to function and live if the first thing were to happen. But the second thought left him painfully hollow and scared. After all he mourned seven years for the guy and he wasn't even dead.