Anything for you

75 - History

Ananya's pov.

I felt weak and numb when I was heading back to my office. Images getting blurred and I was not really in my senses. What I did with Ranveer was eating my mind. Nope it's haunting me. I know I will feel guilty if I do anything sinful against my marriage then why again and again I am doing this same sin.

If it was first time then it's a mistake and it can be forgiven, second time also we can put a blind eye but this same thing is happening again and again then it's not a mistake but it is actually a sin , a cruel brutal sin I am doing with many people. I am cheating them and becoming a characterless girl.

I sat on a chair not wanting to go back in this condition because they will catch me especially Vidya and how long I can deny this fact in front of them when I am really into Ranveer.

what I am even thinking ? I wanted to sit somewhere alone now. I wanted to clear my mind. I caught the elevator and went to my usual place. Terrace of punarjani and sat there staring at the sky.

I wish I could also fly like those birds. No boundaries, no relations, no commitments , no responsibilities. Just like a free bird. When I shut my eyes it's only Ranveer, when I open my eyes then it's my reality.  I can blame myself like Vidya said. If Gautham would have gave me what I needed as a wife then my mind wouldn't have wavered for Ranveer.

Did I really fell for him or am I just attracted ? Even that is confusing and that's my life now , a total mess. I can't even take a decision for myself.

Who is Gautham for me ? He is my husband. We got married legally. In all govt official papers I am his wife.

Then who is Ranveer for me ? I don't know. In simple words he is my husband's doctor but in a complicated words he is something more than Gautham for me.

I like his presence, I like him when he teases me, I enjoy when he scolds me , I like him when he correct my mistakes, I like him when he takes care of me. That kind of care every wife wished to get from her husband which I never got from Gautham but from a stranger and that stranger is Ranveer.

I began to feel jealous when he is with some other girls mostly when he is with Pooja. I don't like to think about Ranveer with Pooja and he is doing what he did to me. I need him as mine...... only mine. He drives me crazy and even I am new to all such feelings. I never knew that there is this kind of magic a man can make me feel in my body. His single touch is enough for me to set up fire inside out my body. What is this ? Lust ? Craving ? Or a fantasy ? Or is it lov.....

I covered my mouth with my hands quickly not even want to say about this feeling. Even if it is love I don't want to admit it. I can't handle my heart to break when I am not even in his dreams. Even today he made me remember what all happened is just normal between two adults. Which means he saw me just as a normal girl. If he doesn't have any feelings like I developed for him in my stupid mind then what's the meaning of all these ? One day I am going to waste all my tears for a person who never liked me or loved me. He just wanted me to quench his thirst and I am willing get submitted to him.

Wow..... Ananya..... You are great. Prostitutes have much reputation than you. Atleast they are doing their job and here I am drooling over a man just for his touch and his attention. It's difficult..... It's really difficult for me to avoid him now. I can't do that. I can't resist him because I am smitten by that man.

When tomorrow Gautam comes back to his normal life how I am going to face him ? What explanation I will give to him ? Whatever I say is that justifiable ? Nope...... I will become a fucking whore who went with a man to have sex because I wanted to feel it when my husband was fighting for his life in hospital bed. People will spit on my face if I say that I loved Ranveer and he will give me a pathetic look for thinking such lousy things and making a castle of cards by my own.