At 30

Day 30: Still 29 Years Old

Chapter Thirty

Today is D-day. Day 30. It is currently 8am. Within the next sixteen hours, I might be gone. If not, I turn thirty. Today, I am just going to rest.

Georgina came in to give me my morning medicine and analgesic. I stop telling her that the drug doesn't work anymore. I still feel pain. But why bother. I have fifteen hours left.

After finishing breakfast, I push myself to the sink in a wheelchair and get a cup of water. I push myself back slowly and water Bean. A simple few minutes task took me almost one hour. Just getting out of bed takes twenty minutes. I have thirteen hours left.

Another nurse came by and gave me a birthday card from Adam. He died in the middle of the night. Just hours after we met. I guess he won't be attending my birthday party after all. Twelve hours left.

I accidentally fell asleep and by the time I woke up, it's lunchtime. My mum and Jonathan are here. The doctors and nurses talked to them privately. Probably just to finalise any last funeral details and procedure. Ten hours left.

Mandy came after dropping off Callie and Newton to their new school. They are starting primary school next year and today is the orientation. I am so proud of them for being brave. It's such a pity I don't get to see them grow up anymore. Nine hours left.

I fell asleep again because I was in so much pain. Georgina came in to give me a stronger dose of analgesic. Seven hours left.

Katie and Alex came. Katie's eyes were red. There were sniffling and crying outside of my ward for about thirty minutes. It is probably her crying and then stopping herself before stepping in. I'm really proud of my family. They hadn't cry yet. At least not in front of me. Six hours left.

It was dinnertime. Also probably my last meal in my life. I have been eating plain boring hospital food for the past few days and I'm craving for my mum's cooking. Before I could whine, my mum brought out a few food containers. It is all of my favourite food. Five hours left.

Mandy left to pick up Callie and Newton. So that I can see them one last time. When they arrived, they handed me a get well soon card. They were supposed to make welcome cards for other classmates but they convinced their teacher to let them do a get well card soon for me instead. I'm so sorry, my loves. I don't think I will be able to get well soon. Three hours left.

Visiting time is long over. The doctors were kind enough to let my family and friends stay with me for the night. I told Mandy to leave with Callie and Newton. It is past their bedtime and they were getting sleepy. Reluctantly, she left. Two hours left.

I took Bean in my hands and curl up into a ball on my bed. I pull up the blankets, covering half my face. I turn my back to my family and friends and look out the window. Every now and then I winced in immense pain but I hide it, hugging Bean even tighter.

One hour left.

It's fine though, really. The last thirty days were the most fulfilling days of my life. At least when I report my attendance in the afterlife, I can be placed under the 'twenties years old' category.

With Bean in my arms and silent tears in the corner of my eyes, I started to drift away while closing my eyes.

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