Outside

32

The's soft strumming of Van's acoustic echoes through the whole arena and from where I'm stood, I can hear every single person singing along with the words. It sounded so beautiful from Van already, but when everyone else was joining in, it just sounded like heaven. His eyes kept flicking between me and the crowd, it was almost as if he couldn't choose which to keep gazing at. The crowd grew louder and louder by the second, it was amazing, it was so much better than the first time I heard it, back at that dead end job I hated.

Before I joined them on their trip around the world, Van had introduced me to everyone on his team. His tour manager, Dan, wasn't too keen on the idea of me coming, he was sure I would be a distraction for Van, but he was proved wrong as we'd been here for three days already and Van was still performing fine. I especially liked Mike, he had an amazing sense of humour, he reminded me of Van, except he had a cockney accent and wore sweats every day.

When the show was finally over, Van's sweet smile shone in my direction and he leapt off the stage towards me, bringing me into his arms. His hands gripped me hard and he nuzzled his head into my hair, getting comfortable despite him being sweaty and exhausted. He held me like he was never to hold me again, like it was the last time he'd get to be in my arms.

It didn't take long for me to get uncomfortable though, he was sweaty and it was trickling down his forehead into my hair and I knew he was tightening his grip just to make it worse.

"Van you're all sweaty, get off me!" I squealed, pulling my head away from his damp chest, "go have a shower or something you pig"

"Stop hiding how much you love it" he replied, grabbing my hand and wiping the back of it on his wet forehead, "love you Oasis" he said with a laugh, cheekily winking at me.

"You're disgusting" I laughed, following him back stage, where Larry was sat trying to teach Benji how to tie his shoe laces the way he did it.

I walked further into the room and Van disappeared to grab some more waters for himself and the lads. Lois was sat with Bob, the two of them lovingly whispering sweet nothings at each other, meanwhile Bondy was laying on the coffee table in the middle of the room holding an empty wine glass, talking to himself in a weirdly amazing New York accent about hotels and Walmart, it was the usual after-show scene.

It suddenly hit me, the realisation that this was where I was supposed to be. Not at home with two parents who only cared when it was convenient for them, not at some dead end job with a boss who treated girls like they were nothing. I was supposed to be here. This was my life now and I couldn't be happier.

"Lo, you coming for a smoke?" I said, startling her a little bit as she hadn't noticed I was in the room yet.

"I don't think I'll never get used to your accent, you sound like a proper tory" Bondy scoffed, throwing himself on top of Benji on the big red velvet sofa.

"Shut it Johnny, I am far from it!" I yelled back to him as Lois pulled me away from the scene, she knew not to let me get into conversations about politics, especially with Johnny Bond.

As we left the building, Lois leaned her back against the wall of the pub next door and I sat on the step of the fire exit door. I was getting major flashbacks to when Van and I first met, it doesn't feel like it had been almost four months, I weirdly felt like I'd known him forever.

I was deeply in love with Van, I was sure of that. From the first day I met him, I knew he wasn't just the weird lad, dressed all in black, leaning against the mossy wall of the pub beside the venue. I knew he was so much more than that. I was grateful for him, he changed my life in such a short amount of time, made me so much happier than I was before. I was trapped, living a life I wasn't sure I wanted to be living, I was working for a man everyone seemed to adore, despite him being the biggest asshole of the century. I was bored and lonely, doing my best to save up enough money to start a new life.

But now, I didn't have to save up to start a new life, Van had given it to me for free. He was the love of my life, I was certain of it.

"I proper miss Sammy, wonder how he's doing after the break up" Lois said, causing me to look at her in confusion, what did she mean by 'break up'?

"He broke up with erin?" I asked.

"No, she broke up with him, didn't he tell you? He called me a few days ago I thought he would've told you aswell" Lois replied, her eyebrows furrowed, "that's why he was so moody the last time we saw him"

Sam never told me, he hadn't called me or texted me in a while. I had no idea he was going through a break up. I felt so bad, like I should've been there for my old friend but I wasn't, I was too busy with my own relationship to even notice his had ended.

"I haven't heard from him in a while, I'll call him later and see how he's doing" I said.

The door behind us opened suddenly and light flooded the alleyway, startling us both, "come on, we need to get back to the hotel, it's getting late and we're all in need of sleep" Benji said, his words were slow and slurred, I could tell he was extremely exhausted, he sounded like he could hardly even find the energy to talk.

Lois and I stood to our feet and followed Ben back inside, where everyone was stood, supposedly waiting for us. The lot of us exited out of the doors and back to the tour bus, although Larry, Lois and I are the only ones who actually enter as the rest of the lads head to the group of fans waiting outside for them.

I sit myself down beside the window and a wave of euphoria washes over me as I gaze through the glass and spot Van's huge grin as he allows a group of girls to take pictures with him. He looks so happy and in his element, it makes me wonder just how I managed to meet someone as lovely as him.

It doesn't take long for them to say goodbye and join the rest of us on the bus, their loud groans of 'get me to bed' and 'I need sleep' fill the silence we were sat in, and not long after we all settled down and switched on Star Wars, half of them are asleep. Excluding myself, and Van and Larry who are putting random objects in Bondy's hands and laughing like children at it.

"Mate give us a go on the playstation you're hoggin' it!" Van says to bondy, who's fast asleep. It makes me wonder how deep of a sleeper he is if he has to put up with two men who act like five year olds every day. I'm surprised he hasn't woke up with the sound of them giggling in his ears as they put the tv remote in his hands and start teasing him despite him not being able to reply.

They continue this for almost an hour, placing little toy soldiers- which I have no idea where they came from- on each and every crease of Bondy's clothes until they reach the top of his hat that he never ever takes off, and the two of them laugh louder than they were before when Van states "we've conquered camp glade!" And whilst Larry is looking rather confused, Van is in stitches at the whole thing. I just sit and watch, not understanding anything of what they're doing to the poor lad who's just trying to sleep.

"Lyla darlin' you look dead tired, you wanna go to bed?" Van asks, turning around to me with a frown on his face, seeing that my eyes are half closed and I'm practically on the verge of falling asleep.

I nod in response as I wouldn't want to wake Benji who'd passed out on my shoulder, thankfully he doesn't wake up when I lightly push him away in order for me to stand to my feet and follow Van to the bunks where he and I have been sleeping for the past three nights.

"D'ya think we're proper good then eh? Better than oasis I think" Van says quietly, nuzzling himself into me, trying to get comfortable on this highly uncomfortable so called 'bed'.

"Yeah you're really good Van, but I think liam would be extremely offended by that comment" I laugh along with him, also trying to get into a comfortable position with Van laying on me, his head on my chest, his arms wrapped around me.

"Ouch, darlin' I'm offended, thought I was your favourite, not Liam!" He replies in a high pitched voice and let's out a sarcastic scoff, followed by a second of soft laughter, "I adore you, y'know" he adds, making me blush more than ever before, and I thank the bus for being dark as I'd rather not have him tease me for going bright red at his words.

"You are my favourite, Van" I reply with a soft tone, placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head, before realising he'd just fallen asleep in the middle of our conversation.