Outside

Epilogue

The smell of sweetness hit my nose the second I awoke from my deep slumber and my arm reached across the bed, but all I felt was the cold and empty bedsheets along with the slight indent that Van had left before he slipped away.

I sat up and stretched my arms above my head, looking around the room contented as I remembered where I was, the events of last night came in little patches and as I was recalling what happened in my mind, I felt like I was on cloud nine.

After sliding my feet into Van's slippers, and draping one of Van's t shirts over my half-naked body, I made my way out of his bedroom, closing the door on the way out. As I sauntered into the kitchen, following the sweet smell, I saw Van stood over the frying pan, a bowl of what looked like some sort of mixture sitting on the counter beside him. I leaned against the door frame and gazed at him in adoration until he turned around and noticed.

"Mornin' beautiful" he said, his voice was raspy due to it being so early but he sounded heavenly, and somewhat joyful to be up and about at this time cooking breakfast.

"What're you doing?" I asked, curious as to why he was jovially skipping around the kitchen in nothing but his sweatpants.

"Bringing memories back love" he simply answered as he turned off the stove and made his way over to the stereo I hadn't noticed was sitting there.

The familiar, nostalgic sound of Lemon world filled my ears and I knew exactly what he was doing in that moment. He remembered. And he actually cared enough to bring it all back for me.

Turning away from the stereo, he walked over to me, slowly lifting his arm up and holding his hand out in front of him. I took it as an invitation to take hold of it, so I did exactly that. Pulling me closer to him, he smiled sweetly and grabbed my other hand with his.

"I remember you telling me about when you used to dance around the kitchen whilst you made pancakes" he remarked, chuckling slightly as he reluctantly pulled his hand away and rested one on my waist, the other still held my hand tightly, "I want to dance with you" he added and I laughed in response, knowing that Van hadn't a clue how to dance but he was willing to try anyway, just to make me happy.

I didn't even know what to reply, part of me just wanted to cry, not out of sadness but out of gratitude. Because I was grateful that Van was in my life again, grateful that he remembered things my own father didn't even remember, grateful that he cared about me in ways nobody ever had.

Van was like the sun, he lit up your life just by being there, just his presence warmed you. You always knew it was going to be a good day when the sun came out. Just like you knew it was going to be a good day when Van was part of it, when you saw Van... you felt content with your life, you felt like nothing could go wrong.

Every time I kissed Van, it felt like the first time. It made my insides shake like leaves on a tree, it made me feel like a giddy teenager all over again. Kissing Van made every worry, every problem disappear, washed away the bad feelings and introduced me to pleasant ones, ones I wanted to feel forever more.

I fell deeper in love with him as the days went by, it was hard to imagine being with anyone other than him. I'd had boyfriends in the past, I'd been with so many other men... and yet not one of them could even compare to Van in the slightest way. The feeling I had for them couldn't ever come close to the adoration I felt for Van.

There wasn't any way to describe it, there were millions of words in the English dictionary and not one of them came close to describing my love for Van.

Laying my head on his chest and wrapping my arms gently around his slim figure, I listened to his beating heart as he began to sway to the sound of my childhood playing through the speaker. I could already feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to ruin the moment. I rapidly blinked away the tears and look up to Van, who's eyes were already focused on me, and I weakly smiled at him. His bright blue eyes narrowed, his brows furrowed and his soft expression shifted to one which was full of worry.

"What's the matter?" He asked, a slight hint of concern in his tone as he looked down at me.

"Nothing, I just... I don't know why I ever decided to let you go" I smiled, snuggling further into his chest and taking in the fresh scent of cigarettes and the cologne he seemed to never run out of.

THE END...

A/N:
Thank you guys sooooo much for reading, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I've been writing this for over a year now and I'm devastated that it has come to an end as I'm kinda emotionally attached to it, but it had to happen sooner or later :(

I'm currently in the middle of writing another Van Mccann Fan fic, so I hope you enjoyed this one enough to try out another!!

Thank you, goodbye for now!