Outside

38

I tapped my chipped fingernails on the surface of the bar as I turned slightly from side to side on the stool, Van was beside me chatting away to some man he quite clearly knew as I watched, awkwardly listening to their conversation about the band before they got big.

I chose to zone out of the conversation after a while and focused on slowly sipping my drinks, trying my best not to get as drunk as I did the last time I came here.

It had a different vibe, it was much more crowded now and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol was much heavier and it made my eyes water ever so slightly. I never liked pubs, I was always a nightclub kind of girl, I liked dancing and screaming the lyrics to random songs I'd heard on the radio, despite them being the worst songs I'd ever heard.

"Van, I'm just gonna go grab a ciggie" I exclaimed over the volume of everyone talking, tapping Van on the shoulder to get his attention.

"That's alright love, just be careful and come straight back when you're done, please" Van kissed my cheek and then my forehead before smiling at me with a slight look which told me not to do anything stupid, not to do anything I would usually do only when Lois is with me.

"I won't be long" I said before walking towards the exit, lighting up a cigarette as soon as the cold air hit me.

Nights like this were beautiful, although it was packed inside and full of sweaty men who had no idea what personal space was, it was nice to just take a break away from home and drink the night away with my boyfriend and lose any worry or doubt I had in my mind.

I walked down the two steps, sitting on the bottom one as I slowly blew the smoke into the air. Wearing a skirt probably wasn't the best idea I ever had, since it was absolutely freezing and my bare skin was turning into ice as I sat on the concrete step.

It wasn't long until Van joined me outside, resting his arm around my waist as he sat beside me and lit up his own cigarette, both of our smoke clouds joining together whenever we exhaled.

He didn't say much when he came out, just a "hey" and then sat down. It was unusual, considering for the whole night he'd been talking nonstop to the men at the bar. I couldn't decipher the look in his eyes when he smiled at me, or when he told me he was just 'worried' about me being out here alone when I asked him why he came out.

It was probably just the alcohol in my system making me think too much about it, just like every other time he'd done something unusual and made me overthink everything there was to overthink.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Van tapped my leg and stood up, holding his hand out for me to take it. It was getting cold and I'd already finished my second cigarette so I took his hand and followed him inside.

The air was thick in the pub and there was something about it that just didn't feel right, like it was so heavy that it was beginning to hurt my brain.

"Van? Is that you?" A feminine voice said behind us, and we turned both our heads to face the source.

She was a pretty brunette, her hair was curled and fell just below her shoulders and her eyes were the biggest and brightest I'd ever seen. She was stunning, but I didn't recognise her and I had no idea why she was calling my boyfriend's name.

"Nyree! Didn't even recognise you, you've changed loads!" Van exclaimed and took the girl into his arms for a second before letting go and grabbing my hand again...