This was inspired by someone who is an angel now and a post I saw on Instagram about extremes in Autism which follows. The original post is staying in my Random Thought and Things for that reason because now it is more special than this post was in August 2019.
"Something people do not talk about enough: Both extremes in autism. Almost every autistic trait has something to do with extremes, and for most of them, autistic people can be on either end of the scale. Sometimes this for hyper/hypo sensitivity reasons and sometimes it is due to overcompensation. Example of some typical autistic autistic traits and their equally autistic counterparts: No empathy? How about having such extreme empathy that you cry when your stuffed animals are ignored?; No/Wrong facial expressions? How about exaggerated facial expressions because you learned early on you were doing it wrong?; Nonverbal? How about being hyper-verbal and not knowing when to stop talking?; Highly advanced vocabulary? How about when you can not remember common everyday words in conversation?; Can't tell when things are awkward? How about having such a sensitivity to awkwardness that you can barely stand being in the room when an awkward moment happens on Tv?; Has meltdown over a small tag on their shirt? How about being so oblivious to physical sensations that you do not know you broke a bone?; Does not follow social norms? How about a strict adherence to social norms, often accompanied by severe anxiety that you are not doing it right?; Can not stand bright lights and loud noises? How about pressing lights so close to your eyes that you are temporarily blinded and constantly making noises when it get too quiet?; No eye contact? How about intense, sustained eye contact that you do not know when to break? Constantly rocking back and forth? How about being unable to walk without getting disoriented?. Remember this when people say "you do not seem autistic" ther is no quintessential autistic representation. This is what we mean when we say it is a spectrum."-Autistic Reptile on Tumblr
Your comment about me having a beautiful soul. It hit me afterward that means more to me than you will ever know. Most of my life was told I was too sensitive, but people did not understand that I felt things deeply and that is not bad thing.
So it was recently, I realized that I am not too sensitive and I needed people in my life, who understand that I care deeply for people and that is were sensitive comes from because I still struggle explained what actually feel.
The "too sensitive" argument has lead me to be yelled at most of my life when I would get upset, people would say "too sensitive" for this world and I need to toughen up. This is my main cause of anxiety in my life because I would beat myself up for getting upset. This includes the occasional meltdown (for me that crying until I can't stop) but then I would get mad at myself for melting down.
It was to recently that I figure out I am on the opposite extreme instead being unable to empathic with others like most people think when it comes Autism. Most of my years growing up, I have not been able explain or expressed that empathy or emotions I felt until I was older. I actually recently read that we as humans expect children to control their emotions at kindergarten and we as humans do not that part of the brain development until we are preteens.
So hear that my soul is beautiful that I am doing what I am supposed to do to make sure there is place in this world for people that were told that they were "too sensitive" for this world.
"She felt things. The energy in everything. This was not choice but how she was made."-Cynthia Zuber
The friends on here will never actually understand how much I thankful for each of you because you have given this girl not only place where she belongs but friendship that I do not take that lightly. I love each one for showing that I am able to myself and I was never "too sensitive", I just had not found those who would understand just another reason to be thankful for Shawn Mendes because without his music, I would not have found the people I needed in my life.
YOU ARE READING
Autism, From Someone Who Is On The Spectrum
Non-FictionAutism from the perspective of a woman on the spectrum
