Last couple chapters have dealt with some heavy topics and how they related to someone on the spectrum. Most people think about all challenges that someone with neurodiversity has to deal with but rarely do we as society think of the positivity about diagnosis. But most people on the spectrum, who can talk will tell you that they felt different about themselves after diagnosis because as Autistic, we all felt like we were alien in our society. The diagnosis give us, some understand in reason why we felt like outcast most of our life. I always know that I was different than other students but it was not until college that I learn what that different was and how many positives come with it.
"Things that have change in my life since I discovered I am autistic. I stopped think there was something wrong with me. I am no longer blaming myself for not being able to make friends or not doing what I am "supposed" to be doing at my age. I am more in touch with my own body. I am more aware of my senses including my needs and feelings. I respond to them without guilt or embarrassment. I notice sensory input a lot more. Whether it is noisy crowds or bright lights, I notice how sensitive I am to them. My threshold for negative sensory input has significantly lowered. I am aware of my limits. I am no longer scared of saying no to situations I am not emotionally strong enough to deal with I do not push myself out of peer pressure either. I stim a lot more and more often. I understand my needs of movement and I respond to it. I let myself bounce my leg up and down or flap my hands, not just for fun or in the privacy of my room, but as a coping mechanism to regulate my emotions. I understand my anxiety disorder better. My autism has helped me notice the sources of my anxiety attacks and now I have the tools to relieve or even prevent them. I embrace my special interests; instead of avoiding talking about them. I used to restrain my excitement whenever I learned something new about my special interests because I would always receive an eye-roll as a response. I do not do that anymore. I celebrate them instead and share them instead and share my knowledge with anyone willing to listen. I communicate my needs more often. I am not scared or embarrassed of say I cannot do certain things or that I need help to do others. I am not ashamed of asking for help. I stopped hating myself. I have come to terms with who I am, regardless of what the world expects of me and I have no interest in molding myself to fit the world that is not made for me. I am me, for better or for worse and I have learned to celebrate it instead of putting myself down."-The Autistic Life
Most my years growing up, I masked all the things that made me, an autistic person. Mostly because I was female on the spectrum, we learn mick the other children in my classroom. But masking did not prevent the bullying from happen in fact, it got worse as I got older. The local school system for my challenges was to pull me out of the classroom and put in special education classroom. But that only makes bullying worse because then the other children know that is different about that person. The main reason I did not know how to positivity about Autism was until I was in college, I look at myself as special education kid because that was how all the teachers dealt with treat me. But in college, I was able to drop the label that everyone had given me throughout my life and just be me.
I still realize there are things that I do not understand about myself because I was allow to be myself growing up. But my diagnosis has and never will be the excuse on why I am not doing something but I am not afraid to say I am different and with those difference certain things are more challenging for me than others. But I will always be person, who know I am trying my best to fit into a world that I do not fit in. And that is okay because I know I am one of kind as me.
"If the roles were reversed: Wow, you are not autistic? Well you do not look neurotypical. You seem too high functioning, are sure? You must be one of the really smart ones. Are you the kind of neurotypical that has special skills? You are acting more neurotypical now that you have found out you are not autistic. You are not a person with non-autism, you just need to try harder."-The Chronic Couple
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Autism, From Someone Who Is On The Spectrum
Non-FictionAutism from the perspective of a woman on the spectrum
