my parents died four years ago. they were shot at a party on Arkansas Boulevard. They were 27 and 31. way too young to die. I was only 11 at the time, staying at my grandparents house while my parents were out partying it up. I loved my parents but they didn't have their priorities straight. now look at them, dead. my grandma is kind of a bitch. she always tells me I'm the reason her daughter was killed, but it's not like I called some assassin and paid them to shoot my parents. my grandpa usually takes my side if my grandma is just bitching at me to be an asshat so I guess he's ok. even though my parents didn't really give a shit about me I miss them a lot. I decided tonight I'm going to visit the house they were shot at and give them one last final goodbye. It's nine now so if I set my alarm for like 1 a.m. my grandparents should be asleep. I walked up to my room and set an alarm. four hours later my dumb alarm rang loudly in my ear. I sat up and began my journey, walking down the driveway of that gay house my grandma chose to live in. I used google maps since I didn't feel like just using some old paper map. I walked around for about two hours trying to find that stupid fucking place. great. it's 2:58. I've been walking around aimlessly like a headless chicken for two fucking hours. should I just go home? I decided to go home since I'm a pussy and I didn't actually want to go somewhere to see people who never cared about me and wake up late for school tomorrow. google maps showed me a short cut back home so I figured, eh. why not? the trail lead me to a forest. I've always hated forests, but I was only 10 minutes away from my house so there was no turning back now. I walked for about 15 minutes through the forest before I realized I didn't see an end to the trees in front of me. I turned back and all I saw was woods. holy shit. holy fucking shit. I'm lost. fuck. fuck! I looked back down at my phone and the map had been frozen since I walked into the woods. I was supposed to turn right about 9 minutes ago. fuck I'm so stupid. I tried to exit the app but my phone screen was completely frozen. I pressed the power button and my phone powered off after a second but when I pressed it again it never turned back on. shit. where do I go? what do I do now? I started walking. I figured if I just kept walking straight, eventually I would exit the woods and maybe my phone would turn back on so I could find a way home. I walked for what seemed like hours and realized the woods are never going to end. im fucking lost. this is the end. this is how I'm going to die. trying to say goodbye to people who never loved me in the first place, and would rather go to parties instead of taking care of their fucking daughter. fuck this shit. I started running as fast as I could in any direction. I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to go home. maybe it's just a dream. that's it, I'm trapped in a bad dream. I pinched myself. ow! fuck! I started running. I've been running forever. there is no end. I'm trapped in here forever. this is it. this is my death. this is my eternity. it's inescapable.
