If Only

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I must have fallen asleep after that game because I felt someone carrying me up the stairs. My eyes opened a bit and I recognized my house. Logan was walking quietly up the stairs and stopped at the hallway. He must not have realized I was already somewhat awake because he gently patted my arm.

"Kit Kat. Which room is yours?" I stirred, pretending to just wake up.

"Logan? Why are you here?" I looked around. "Are we in my house? How did we get in?"

Logan glanced around and made sure that my parents hadn't woken up. "I'll tell you once we get to your room Kit Kat."

I nodded and reluctantly motioned for him to let me down, although I missed his warmth so I wrapped my arms around him instead. Leading him to my room I realized that this was his first time in here. Feeling self-conscious, I looked away from him as we both sat on the bed.

"So how did we get in here?" I asked.

"Your mother let us in after I rang the doorbell twice. She wasn't very happy that I had woken her up." He chuckled nervously. "She quickly went back to sleep saying that it was going to be a busy day at the store tomorrow."

I nodded, remembering the text she had sent me earlier today. We sat in silence for the next few minutes and I couldn't help but sneak a few glances at him. For some reason he looked sad and lost. I really wanted to cheer him up, but I wasn't sure how.

I checked the clock and noticed it was past 12:00. "Happy birthday!" I said, throwing my arms around him. He hugged me back and held me for a while. It didn't want to let go either. He was nice and warm and comfortable. Finally, he pulled away but looked at me with sad eyes.

"Katie, my birthday has got me thinking about how selfish I've been this whole time. And I don't want to be that guy anymore who has to take people down to get what he wants. Because I feel like I don't deserve you because of it."

"What are you saying? Logan." I plead, trying to get him to answer me before he does anything he might regret later. My hands were gripping the bed sheets, feeling very anxious.

He ignored me and continued talking. "I know we had things planned out for today, but I." He rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip, as if it hurt him to say what next. "I think we should break up."

I froze, looking at him in disbelief. "Why would you say that?" I paused, looking at his guilty face. "There's something you're not telling me! Logan, I thought. I thought. Why?"

Logan sighed. "It's for the best." He leaned over to kiss my cheek one last time before he got up and left.

I watched the door, envisioning him leave again and again. Choked sobs came out. It didn't make any sense to me. I mean, it's not like I was in love with him or anything, but it hurt. I didn't understand why he would do that to me. I thought. I thought he was better than this.

I laid down on the bed and wrapped myself up in blankets, trying to fight the aching feeling in my heart.

~---------------------------------~

I woke up from my phone ringing loudly the next morning. I checked the caller ID and was relieved to see that it was Stacy.

"Hey Stacy. What's up?"

I could hear her laughter from the other side of the phone. "What? You're not going to yell at me for waking you up?" She replied.

I shook my head. "Nope. Now why are you calling at," I paused to check the time, "11:48 in the morning?"