Fate Untold (Harry Potter Fanfiction)

Chapter 8: Burden to Bear

"No, please, I don't want to die! I'm sorry, please!"

It was cold, and dark, so very dark... There was nothing else but that voice, that haunting, daunting voice... Where was it coming from?

"You can't do this, you can't!"

It echoed loudly through the emptiness of the void, strongly laced with terror and desperation, accompanied by a forceful wave made from the tears the voice had shed. Then, finally, there was a flash of color... Red, the gruesome shade of the blood flooding the entirety of what had been earlier assumed to be an unenclosed room...

"No, no-AHHH!!!"

Ashley woke up drenched in cold sweat, heavily gasping for some much needed air. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, throwing the covers away from her trembling form as she slumped against the headboard of her bed. Hugging her knees close to her chest, she moved to shut her eyes but was quick to snap them wide open again. The memory from more than a week ago had yet to leave her alone, sneaking into the forefront of her mind even when she tried to block it out. Alexandra's bloodcurdling screams still rang through her ears every time she was left on her own, nothing around to distract her from the damnation she'd forced upon someone she had used to trust.

"Breathe, little one..."

Ashley fell out of the dreadful trance she'd involuntarily entered. Relieved to have something to divert her attention to, she welcomed her familiar in a loving embrace. Per his request, he was enlarged back to his actual size and cocooned her in the warmth she desperately desired at the time. He rested his head on top of hers and squeezed her in a way that was meant to be comforting. She appreciated his efforts, yet she couldn't help but think that it wasn't enough. She needed something else, someone else (two, really), but she kept her thoughts to herself and quietly basked in her familiar's caring attention.

"It's alright, little one, you're alright. You only did what you had to do..."

"Did I really?"

"Yes, you did. She was a traitor, and she would have gotten you and several others killed, or worse. She's no different than the rat that betrayed your family."

"...Imagine what Remus and Sirius would say when they discover I'm a murderer. Think they'll still want me around?"

"Don't say that. You know very well that nothing on earth could make your mates not want to have you around. They love you very much, little one."

Maybe, but not for long...

Sighing internally, Ashley pushed aside the depressing thought and wiggled out of Moko's hold, all the while refusing to comment. Faking a genuine response would be useless against the serpent; he knew her all too well, he could sense a sliver of distress from a mile away. She shook her head and peaked beyond the curtains surrounding her bed. She'd had to close them up every night to avoid confrontations if one of her dorm mates were to wake and witness one of her nightly 'episodes'. That was a talk she really didn't want to have with anyone at the moment. So, for extra precaution, she had a silencing ward erected right where she slept. The others were better off not knowing about the trauma that fateful night had caused her. It was her burden to bear as the one who had made the decision in the first place.

Realizing that it was barely an hour after midnight, she retreated back to her bubble of solitude (not counting Moko's presence). Despite Moko's best attempts, she was unable to get any of the sleep she had been missing on. She spent the remaining hours of dusk before dawn reading through the letters, all from her soul-bonded, that she'd accumulated within the time span of only a few days. With how...upset she'd been recently, she had taken to snubbing Sirius and Remus every time they tried to contact her. Obviously, the older Marauders hadn't reacted to that very well. They bombarded Ashley with letters every chance they got, each one increasing in written panic and worry, none of which she had the courage to reply to. What a Gryffindor she was...