Two weeks passed and Peter still hasn't said a thing.
Not even an apology, an explanation, a hello. He cheated on me and now is pretending that I don't exist.
It's Friday and I know my gang is having dinner at Dylan's place. Dylan and Hardin texted me to go, but I said no.
Once again, I'm staying away from my group of friends. I don't want to see Peter or Becky.
In the past two weeks, I just hang out with Júlia when she stops by for lunch, dinner, to sleep, or all three. And I also went out with Hardin and Heidi a few times without Júlia knowing.
I've been living on alcohol, weed, ketamine, and cocaine. I don't even try to be sober, and sometimes not even drugs and alcohol work.
I also take amphetamines sometimes to study, because Peter's not gonna be the reason I don't graduate. Never in my life has shit like this prevented me from getting good grades, and this time won't be any different.
"I'm going out now. My friends are waiting for me outside. Sure you don't want to join?" Júlia is putting her coat.
"Yeah, I need to study. I will be fine." I give her my best poker face.
"Okay then." She approaches me and gives me a tight hug. "Bye."
I'm trying to put on an act for Júlia and pretend that I'm better because I don't want her to worry. But I'm not okay.
How is it that after everything Peter did, he'll just ignore me and not say a word?
As soon as Júlia leave, I drank some scotch that I bought the other day. I don't know how to deal with my heartbreak. This pain won't go away.
I open the drawer of my closet and remove the necklace that Peter gave me. I need to throw it away, but I don't have the courage.
The worst part is that even though I'm feeling humiliated, cheated on, betrayed and ignored, I still miss him so much that sometimes I just want to push everything aside and be with him.
I'm almost desperate for him to say something so I can see him and feel him again. I've become so disgusting. I really need to pick my head back up and move on. This can't go on.
What I'm doing isn't working so I have to change something, somehow.
I drink the rest of my whiskey and take a shower. Afterwards I put on a confident outfit, showing my stomach, black eyeliner and some high-heeled shoes. Then I snort two lines of cocaine.
Now that my self-esteem is up a little, I text Hardin and ask where they are.
I'm facing the problem head on, since running away from it isn't helping. He texts me his location on WhatsApp and I'm on my way.
They're at the bar with the spinning dancefloor, and I'm shivering the entire way there just thinking I might see Peter again.
I reach the bar and realize only David and Hardin are there. They're at the bar, drinking and watching the people dancing.
I feel slightly disappointed because I was ready for Peter, but I head towards them and say hello to each with a kiss on the cheek. I put my jacket on a stool between the two of them and ask for a vodka red bull.
The bartender hands me the drink and I drink it as I groove to the music a little. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.
"Aren't you gonna dance?" Hardin asks in my ear.
"I don't feel like. I'm not in the mood."
"Doesn't even seem like you, you're always the best dancer on the dancefloor."
YOU ARE READING
Good at Games, Bad at Love (18+)
Romance"Can I give you a hug?" Is it possible to want and not want something at the same time? "Please?" he insists and I nod. He approaches me and my breathing becomes irregular, our bodies are too close. He doesn't hug me. Instead, his hands touch mine...
