Today I made lunch for myself and Hardin, some duck rice, another Portuguese dish. We sat on the couch eating, and I put my legs over his. When we're by ourselves, we eat on the couch to watch some Netflix.
"This food is really good," he says.
"Thanks. What do you want to do after lunch, walk around town or something?" I put some food in my mouth.
"I don't feel like going out, I'd rather just stay here. But if you really want to, we can go somewhere." He eats some more and has some wine.
"Okay, we'll stay here. That's cool. Did you bring any pot?"
"I did."
I felt like going out, but Hardin's not the boyfriend to go for walks with me. In fact, we're not a couple, we're just friends with benefits. It's pointless to make this into something it's not. I didn't even want it any other way, anyway. Or did I? I'm getting soft. Must be the Dutch airs.
"I choose the movie today," I say.
"Anything but romantic crap."
"But do you think I would choose that? I'm offended." I smile at him and he smiles back.
***
Later, I call Martina for dinner, and we eat the rest of the rice.
"I'm glad you came, I made this rice for lunch but Hardin and I couldn't finish all of it. I gotta learn how to do portions properly," I say, as I serve the both of us.
"Hm. You had lunch with Hardin? How's that going?"
"It's going well. Why do you ask?" I give her the plate, the fork and the knife. Then I get my own and sit next to her on the couch.
"Just checking. It's strange that I'm the only girl in the group who's not in love." She tries some of the rice. "This is delicious, Kelly!"
"In love?! Whoa, calm down. I'm not in love. I like Hardin, but let's not go that far." I eat some rice as well. "Still, you've got Marcus and Dylan, just take a pick."
"That's cute. But hey, Becky's actually in love with Peter." Why did she feel the need to tell me this?
"Why do you say that?" I try to seem uninterested.
"Because she told me. Falling in love during Erasmus must be hard. After the semester is over you and that person have to say goodbye. That's sad. So yeah, good for you for not falling in love with Hardin. You can enjoy the good things without the drama of separation."
"You're right, it must be sad," I say, trying not to prolong this uncomfortable conversation.
"And do you think Hardin's in love with you?" Martina doesn't understand that I don't want to talk about this anymore.
"I don't think he is, and I hope he's not. Do you think Peter's in love with Becky?" I see the chance to ask her and I have to take it, in case she knows.
"I don't know, actually. Never heard him say anything. I'm wondering just like I am about Hardin. It is harder to see when the boys are in love."
"Yeah.. well, we still haven't commented on the joke the teacher made yesterday!" I change the topic quickly and we start talking about the class we have together. Our teacher always likes making jokes that aren't funny at all, but that's what makes the class entertaining.
***
I get a text from Hardin saying we should go to a park I've never been to before, and I check my GPS and realize it's far from downtown.
YOU ARE READING
Good at Games, Bad at Love (18+)
Romance"Can I give you a hug?" Is it possible to want and not want something at the same time? "Please?" he insists and I nod. He approaches me and my breathing becomes irregular, our bodies are too close. He doesn't hug me. Instead, his hands touch mine...
