Hardin and I are sitting in front of the laptop watching famous stand-up comedians on YouTube, smoking, drinking and laughing.
His desk has cigarettes pieces and some cocaine. Also pieces of rolling paper and filters. We've already emptied the whiskey bottle.
"Shouldn't you go? It's getting late and Peter might be upset."
"He is going to sleep with his mother at my studio tonight. Don't worry."
"Um, okay. So let's get a bottle of vodka borrowed from a neighbor of mine."
"Sounds like a plan." I smile.
***
We return to the bedroom to smoke the last joint of the night, and I realize the sun's rising. The light on the horizon freaks me out.
Since it's summertime, I'm assuming it's around 6AM. Because in the Netherlands now the sun rises early, and it only gets dark around 9PM.
"I lost track of time, I have to go."
I sit on Hardin's bed, putting my things away, and stuff them into my bag. I brought a large bag, because tonight I'm sleeping at Júlia's, it would be weird to sleep at room's Peter when it's just me and David.
Everything's really blurry. I can't see straight. I should have stopped hours ago.
This Hardin's dorm friend just happened to invite us to join in a drinking game with his group and we stayed. After that, me and Hardin went upstairs, made and ate some frozen lasagnas. But I didn't realize that so much time has passed.
"You're going already? I don't know if I can ride a bike this way, and I don't think you can either."
"You're right, I probably look like shit, but I really have to go."
"Let's go. I'll go with you." Hardin grabs his keys and heads to the door.
"No, I'll go by myself. Don't worry. Seriously." I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and run down the hall.
I manage to ride my bike running no one over, which is a miracle. I fall once, but I'm so numb that I don't even feel anything.
In Júlia's place, I go up to her room, almost crawling. Then I knock on her door and wait for her to open. When she does, I realize she's extremely sleepy.
"Kelly? What time is it? I waited for you and fell asleep..."
"Sorry, I lost track of time." I enter her room and place my things on her desk.
"You smell like weed and booze." She stands in front of me, grabs my face and inspect me.
"You're so fucked up. How long have you been doing this again?"
I don't have time for this; I need to sleep quickly. Júlia always tried to keep me away from drugs, just like Peter.
So, I lie, "Just last night, I swear." I take my clothes off. "I need to get some sleep, can you wake me up around 10:30 AM? Peter's picking me up at his place around noon and I need to sleep for a couple of hours."
"Okay, don't worry. I'll set the alarm, but then we need to have a serious conversation about this."
I'm a junkie. I'm bad. I don't deserve him.
YOU ARE READING
Good at Games, Bad at Love (18+)
Romance"Can I give you a hug?" Is it possible to want and not want something at the same time? "Please?" he insists and I nod. He approaches me and my breathing becomes irregular, our bodies are too close. He doesn't hug me. Instead, his hands touch mine...
