I sat at the island in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee with Gracie in her high chair eating her little cereal. Today was a big day. I was finding out the gender of the baby. It was exciting but every milestone I cross in this pregnancy is only a constant reminder of the fact that I was going through this alone. My husband still doesn't remember what we had even though it's been six months now. I'd been spending two days a week with him, going over our memories. I've told him half of it already and he's opened up to me more since we started this. He's pretty comfortable around me now. But he still wasn't my husband. On the plus side, he's completely healed and able to walk and do things normally now. No more boot. No more sling. No more casts. It was nice to see him doing things for himself again. It was nice to spend time with him going over our memories. Memories I hadn't revisited in a long time. And part of me thought it was only doing me more harm than good because every time I think we're making progress, I get reminded of how wrong I am for thinking it. Seth wasn't getting his memory back any time soon and I was starting to accept it. But it was harder than anything I'd ever faced so far in my life.
Roman and Jordan walked out to the kitchen to join me. They'd gone back to work a month ago but this was a week they had off so they came right back here. I felt bad for them. They'd given up a lot to help me out. They'd given up their huge home in Miami to stay with me and Gracie. I really appreciated their help and their sacrifice but it just made me feel like an invalid. "Good morning." Jordan said as she smiled at me. "Are you ready for today?"
"Yeah." I said. "I'm excited to see if I'm having another girl or a little boy."
"What are you hoping for?" Roman asked as he handed Jordan and cup of coffee and took a sip of his own.
"I don't know." I said. "I mean, I'd be okay with either."
"Have you thought of any names?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No. I think waiting until the baby is born is probably my safer bet. Nothing even sounds good. So I just gotta wait to see the face and maybe a name will pop into my head."
"Well, you can always name the baby Roman." he said. "Or Ramona for a girl."
I chuckled and shook my head. "Yeah. Thanks for that suggestion. Let me think about that and get back to you." I said sarcastically before taking a drink of my coffee. "I'm gonna go get ready for this appointment." I stood up and walked to my room before grabbing out a simple black dress. I slipped it on and then began with my hair and makeup. This appointment was a big one and I wished Seth could be there with me. I wished he could hold my hand as we find out if we were having another daughter or a son. But he couldn't. And I needed to be strong. It's been a little easier to deal with as we came along but I still had my moments of struggle. I think that would be normal for me until Seth regained his memory. Or it could be that way for the rest of my life.
I walked back out to the kitchen after I was finished getting ready. Jordan was gonna be going with me to my appointment while Roman was gonna watch Gracie. I smiled at Jordan and she nodded before I said goodbye to Gracie and followed Jordan out of the house. We got in her car and backed out of the driveway before heading for the doctor's office. "So, how's it going with Seth? Any progress?" Jordan asked.
"No." I said. "I've been telling him our story. Memory by memory but nothing's working."
"I'm sorry Davina." she said. "I wish this wasn't happening. If I could go back, we wouldn't have even gone out that night."
"No." I said. "This isn't your fault. You didn't know. And I never blamed you. Not once."
"That makes one of us then." she said.
"Look, Jordan, you are my best friend. I've known you forever and not once did I ever think that you would put anybody's life in jeopardy. You're a good person and you wouldn't harm anyone. You can't blame yourself because it's not your fault." I told her. She looked at me and nodded a little.
