All week I'd stayed at the hospital with Seth. Even though he didn't remember who I was, I remembered and I wasn't gonna leave my husband alone. The doctors have been trying to work with him and get his memory back but nothing was working which was heart breaking. I wanted him to remember so bad. I wanted my husband back. I wanted to go home with him and sleep next to him. I wanted to live my life with him like before.
On the plus side, they'd arrested the person who hit my husband. He was a 22 year old college kid who was drunk. A drunk driver hit my husband and caused him to lose any memory of his life. He had no idea who I was. No idea who his mom was or his brother. But that was the first thing they worked on. He was growing on the idea of them being his family which was a good thing, I guess, but I just wanted him to remember me. I was in agony just watching all of this. I'd told my parents not to bring Gracie here. I didn't want her to see her daddy like this. I'd gone over and showered and spent a little time with Gracie here and there but I didn't wanna be anywhere but the hospital with Seth and my parents understood that and were happy to keep Gracie with them until I was ready to have her with me. I just couldn't deal with anything else right now. I know what you're all thinking. Gracie is my daughter. She comes first and I shouldn't be worried about anything or anyone but her. But nobody knows how hard this really is on me. I would be way too distracted thinking about Seth to even be able to take care of my daughter and she deserves better than that.
Seth was getting released today but he'd already said that he wanted to stay with his mom. She was only one that felt familiar right now which I guess was a little progress but it sure hurt like hell to hear him say that. I wanted so bad for him to say that he'd rather stay at the house with me. But I knew better than that. I just needed to help him get his memory back. Or at least remember who me and Gracie are. We were his family too. I needed him to remember.
Roman walked into the waiting room where I was sitting at the moment. The doctors and Seth's mom were getting Seth ready to leave the hospital and it was just too hard to be in there right now knowing that he wasn't coming home with me. Roman sat down next to me and set his hand on my knee. "How you doing?" he asked.
"Not good." I said. "It's so hard to see him like this. It's killing me Roman."
"I know." he said. "It's difficult knowing that he doesn't remember any of us. He's my best friend and he has no idea." I never really thought about how hard this was for Roman too. I wasn't the only one suffering from this. I wasn't the only one breaking on the inside because someone I love didn't remember who I was. Roman was hurting too.
I put my hand on Roman's. "I'm sorry Roman." I said. "I've been so selfish the last week. I've only thought about how hard this is for me. I didn't think about you and everyone else."
"No." he said. "You don't need to apologize. I understand. Trust me, I do."
I sighed and a tear rolled down my cheek. I'd done so much crying over the past week, I'm pretty sure it surpasses all the tears I've shed my entire life. "It feels like he died. Like a part of him died. The part that loved me. The part that always reminded me how much I meant to him. And how much he meant to me. I've thought about what's gonna happen if he doesn't ever remember. And when I think about it, I can't breathe." I looked at Roman as another tear fell. "What am I gonna do without him Roman? How am I gonna live without him?" I cried. Roman pulled me into him and I cried on his shoulder. I didn't wanna live my life without my husband. What was I gonna do?
*******
JORDAN'S P.O.V.
This was the worst week I'd ever experienced. My best friend was going through hell because her husband doesn't remember anything about her or anyone for that matter. And apparently he'd opted to stay with his mom instead of going back home so that just made it all worse. Now Seth's mom had asked Roman and me to grab some of Seth's things from their house so he would feel a bit more comfortable at her house which is what Roman and I were currently doing. It was weird. Packing up some of Seth's stuff. His clothes, some pictures to help him remember. Roman didn't know if we should pack up some pictures of him and Davina but I had no doubt about it. I put at least three of them in the box. Anything to help him get his memory back and she was part of that. I wasn't about to leave it all out. But I also made sure to leave quite a few pictures here for Davina. She'd want the reminder of what they had. She doesn't want to let go and I don't blame her. Not one little bit. I wouldn't want to get rid of any memories either. Not when there's a chance that he would one day wake up and remember everything.
