Seer《Book 1: Season 5-6 》

Alternatives II/II

The Seer continued to throw me through a loop, every day I knew her. First, it was my decision to disobey my orders and let her live. Then I continued to disobey and watched over in my spare time, occasionally interfering in small ways.

Then she was murdered, another loop I had to pass through, only to be risen and come back into my life.
And then the love I had for her as child evolved into loving her as a woman.

Each time her powers grew, every new incredible thing she became capable of, threw me. And then when I'd regretfully asked Balthazar to banish her and her brothers to an alternate reality, she still managed to contact me in her dreams. She never ceased to stun and amaze me.
When she told me of her indiscretion with man who was not really me, I was floored. I hid my jealousy and anger and reacted rationally. I couldn't blame her for something any one of us might have done. It hurt me, but again I was impressed; by her loyalty. So loyal she stretched across time and space just to come to me in tears , distraught that she felt she'd been disloyal.
How could I be angry, when I was the one keeping secrets?
I'd deceived her so much already, after she told me of her suspicions that an angel was working with Crowley. She asked me not heal her eye, and return her power to her, and graciously I accepted. If she were to learn it was me all along...I would have no right to judge her actions. She confessed, and yet I continued to evade and lie.
I learned then, indefinitely, what I'd always suspected, that I didn't deserve her.
If I had any good sense, I never would have laid with her. I merely wanted to stop breaking her heart, when I'd come to her that day, hoping in doing so she wouldn't hate me, and she would trust me. I didnt expect it to go so far, and if she learned the truth, I feared she might think I took her innonce for her trust.

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We managed to pick up our package at the air port, under heavy suspicion of our driver, and head back to the set with it.
When we tried to get set up at "Bobby's house ", the lights came on and we were expected to perform scenes from the show instead perform  enochian magic. Not able to have private access to the place until we completed the days work.
We shuffled aside, off set, to regroup.

"I can't do this," Dean complained harsh whisper, "I don't know how to act!"

"We gotta do something," Sam whispered back, glancing around at the curious eyes not far from us, gossiping.

"Just...roll with it." I suggested, "how hard can it be? We're playing ourselves, for fuck sake."

Shuffling back onto set, we found our marks on the floor. Dean tried to look stoic and attentive, while Sam stood there not sure what to do with his hands and continuously fidgeted.
Misha was ready and waiting for us.

"Balthazar is no hero, but knows Raphael will never take him back." Misha recited flawlessly.

Dean approached him stiffly, throwing on a face of severity that couldn't be more obvious, missed his mark and just stood there with nothing to say.

"Cut!"

We did this multiple times before they got it reasonably right, and finally moved on to another scene.