Make It A Sweet, Sweet Goodbye

Chapter 25 : We All Fall Down

I stared at Alex, shock written all over my face and regret written all over his. It felt like the breath had been knocked out of me; like I was winded and couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. 

“What?” I managed to get out, barely loud enough for Alex to hear. 

“Lei, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen” Alex whispered to me, and I shook my head, still not quite comprehending what was going on. 

I took a deep breath, taking in all the oxygen that had recently felt like had been knocked out of me. 

“Is that all he said?” I managed to get out. 

Alex nodded. “He said he didn’t want to sit with you; he felt it’d be better if he left you alone.” Alex told me, his voice filled with regret after every word. 

I grabbed onto Alex’s hand, clutching onto it. 

“I’m losing him Alex, I’m really losing him.” I whispered, trying to keep my tears in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry anymore, not at all. 

Alex squeezed my hand, reassuring me. “Leila, you aren’t losing him. You just need to be up front with him. Tell him that he means a lot to you, because right now, he thinks that you’re trying to replace him with me, and…and that can’t happen.” Alex said the last part quietly, like something about that made him not want to say it. 

I sighed before nodding. “Okay, I’ll talk to him once we get to London. I’ll tell him everything.” I replied to Alex, and he nodded. “Good.” He said, before releasing my hand. 

I reluctantly leaned back in my seat, putting my headphones in my ears and pulling my hood up over my head. I was hoping; praying everything would be alright. I needed Zack, but at the same time, I need Alex too. Alex knows exactly what I’m going through; he knows how to help me. But Zack is my rock. Without Zack, I wouldn’t still be on this tour right now. 

I sighed and closed my eyes. I knew that I wouldn’t fall back asleep, but I just needed to escape into music. 

I turned my volume up, letting the sound of Red Jumpsuit Apparatus fill my ears as my thoughts exploded like fireworks in my head, filling my mind to the brink of explosion. 

**London. 7:00P.M. After The Flight**

We had all just gotten off the flight, and I was exhausted. I’d just spent the last 8 hours on the plane, and I was ready for bed. It was nearly dusk in London because of the time change, and we were all going to the hotel, eating, and going to bed. We had a couple days before we played our first show in London, so we got a hotel instead of having to stay on the bus. 

I was still sharing a room with Zack, regardless of what went on during the flight. We stopped at a small pizzeria and ate before going to the hotel to check in. 

Zack and I rode up to our room in silence. We were on the 7th floor with everybody else, but whereas everybody else had two beds in their rooms, we had said a few days ago if they didn’t have any rooms with two beds, we’d take a king. Of course, we ended up with a king. 

I unlocked the door and pushed it open, revealing a nice looking hotel room; nicer than most. I tossed my suitcase on the floor by the window, farthest away from the door. Zack set his stuff by the desk on his side of the bed, opening up his suitcase and grabbing out a pair of sweatpants before going into the bathroom. 

We hadn’t said a word to each other since he went to get Alex on the plane. Nearly 8 hours ago. I sat down on the floor in front of my suitcase, opening it up before pulling out a pair of my sweatpants, and then my shirt.