Make It A Sweet, Sweet Goodbye

Chapter 24 : I'm A Walking Travesty

“Please fasten your seatbelts for take-off.” I heard the stewardess say over the intercom. We were sitting on a Boeing 747 Airplane waiting to take off for London from Baltimore. I clicked my seatbelt shut, and tightened it around my hips before leaning my head against Zack’s shoulder. It was 6:30 A.M. and I was beyond tired. 

The hometown show the night before was amazing. 

Maryland loves the guys, and the guys love Maryland; that showed through in their performance. The crowd was amazing, the guys were having fun, and even the crew was having fun, which now a days was surprising. Lately Anya had been getting on nearly everyone’s nerves, even Alex’s. It didn’t fly with her that Alex and I were now friends again, so the thing that she and Alex had going on kind of dissolved yesterday, and apparently she moved on fast. Last night, Jack caught her making out with Danny outside of the venue after the show. That’s the only reason she’s coming to Europe, because Danny wants her here.

I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling the plane gain speed and my ears pop as it lifted into the air. I always loved the feeling of planes taking off. 

I yawned, popping my ears back to normal, and Zack chuckled. He reached over and ran his fingers through my hair, which made me even more tired. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep; into another nightmare. 

**Leila’s POV, Dreaming** 

I stood at Ethan’s door, knocking on it to see if he needed any help packing. 

“Ethan, its Lei. Do you need any help packing?” I asked him through his door, but I didn’t hear anything coming from inside the room. I knocked again, only harder, thinking he was in the bathroom maybe. 

“Ethan! I’m coming in!” I yelled in there before opening the door, but I wasn’t expecting what I found. 

Blood. Lots and lots of blood. 

And in the middle of all of it was Ethan, slashed cut into his skin and a razor blade lying a few inches from his hands, which were also bloody. 

I ran over to him, shocked and panicked. 

“Ethan, ETHAN!” I yelled, shaking him and yelling at him. 

“Ethan, wake up! WAKE UP! You can’t leave me! You can’t!” I yelled, but I knew it was too late. I checked for a pulse, and there was nothing. There was no breath going in and out of his nose, and his heart wasn’t beating. 

“Please Ethan, please.” I whispered now, laying my head down on his now still chest. I took a fistful of his shirt in my hand; anything to keep me holding onto him. 

I wanted him to be here, I needed him to be here. I would do anything to keep a part of him with me. I thought back to the razor lying on the floor, and I pulled my head up, reaching over and picking it up. 

I looked at it as if it were a foreign object; something I’ve never seen before but somehow wanted to use. I began letting the blade tear away at the tops of my bare feet, letting my blood mix with Ethan’s blood that had spilled onto the carpet. 

I began swiping away at my jeans, cutting away fabric but not skin, until my hips and parts of my legs were exposed. I let the blade swipe across the line of skin hidden by my pants, letting the blood seep into the jeans before I dropped the blade onto the ground and let myself sink back down into Ethan’s chest, waiting for my fate to be sealed. 

**End Of Dream, Present Time** 

I woke up with a start, pulling away from Zack and covering my face as the tears started flowing. That was two times I’ve had this dream in one week. That hasn’t happened since the peak of my depression.