Make It A Sweet, Sweet Goodbye

Chapter 26 : I Feel Hopeless

“You know, I think we did really well today.” Alex said as we stood in the elevator that was taking us back to our rooms; bags in hand. It was now 4:30 in the afternoon, and Alex, Jack, Rian, and I had spent the entire day sight-seeing, walking around the little shops in London, and shopping at the larger department stores. 

“I agree.” I said; looking down at the 4 shopping bags I had in my hands, plus the bag of souvenirs I bought. 

The elevator made the little dinging noise, signaling that we were at our floor. The doors opened, and the four of us piled out, walking down to the hallway that our rooms were in. 

“So, dinner tonight?” Rian suggested. 

I shrugged. “Sounds good to me.” I said. 

Alex and Jack both nodded, agreeing. 

“Okay. Let everybody else know. We can meet in the lobby at 6.” Rian confirmed, and we all nodded again. 

My room was first in the block of rooms we had, and I stopped at the door. “I’ll meet you guys at 6.” I said to them, putting my bags down on the floor as I opened up my purse. I pulled my room key out of my wallet, slipping it into the lock on the door and unlocking it, pushing it open before grabbing my bags and walking in, letting it swing shut behind me. 

I walked into the living room to see Zack sitting on the bed, his Macbook open. He glanced up at me slightly when I walked in, then turned back to his laptop. I walked over to my suitcases and sat down on the floor, pulling out all the new clothes I bought and pulled the tags off, tossing them in one of the bags before folding my clothes neatly. 

All of a sudden, Zack broke the silence that had settled between us for the past 24 hours. 

“Leila, we need to talk.” Zack said. Whenever someone started a conversation like that, it wasn’t going to end well. 

“Okay.” I replied. I stood up and turned towards him, sitting gingerly down on the bed. 

He took a deep breath and sat his laptop down on the side table next to him. “I don’t want to do this Lei. I don’t want to have to compete with Alex, and at this point that’s what it has come down to. I love you. I love you so fucking much, but I’m not going to be able to continue to sit here and watch Alex work his way into our relationship.” He told me, right off the bat. 

I started to speak, but Zack cut me off right away. 

“Just hear me out.” He replied, and I closed my mouth. “When you had your first nightmare, and Alex was the one to help you, I was a little bit relieved when I found out why he was with you, to tell you the truth. Yes, I was jealous that it wasn’t me who was able to help you, but I was so relieved that Alex found you that night, because he helped you through it.” He continued. 

“But then on the place yesterday, when you woke up from another nightmare and instantly asked for Alex, my world crashed down. You would barely look at me! All you were asking for was him, and I kept asking myself ‘What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?’ But the thing is, you and Alex have gone through more than me, Jack, and Rian have gone through combined. There’s nothing that can come between you two when it comes to that. You two have a stronger connection than any other people on this tour. I want to be a part of your life, believe me I do, but at this point, I don’t even know if it’s worth it.” He said the last part quietly, and my breath stopped short. This was it. He was making it sound like we were done. 

“You need somebody who relates to you to help you out, and because you aren’t telling me everything, that can’t be me. Even if our relationship was to go on for the rest of this lifetime, Alex would still be there, because he relates to you more than I do; there’s no stopping that. And it kills me. At this point, I just need a break Leila. I need a break from you, from our relationship; I just need to take time for myself.” He said, and I couldn’t even meet his eyes.