Belongs To An Insouciant

Ilham hayat Khan

Disclaimer

THIS STORY IS PURELY BASED ON WRITERS IMAGINATION.ALL CHARACTERS ARE PURELY FICTIONAL. RESEMBLANCE TO ANY PERSON ALIVE OR DEAD OR WITH ANY OTHER STORY IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Enjoy❤

November 4

Life was not full of serendipity.It was name of constant struggle,constant appraisals,endless tests.

For me it was always that.Whenever if felt I won't be tested again,now I won't go through another struggle,another storm.Another stormed awaited me.It was life,never in a straight line.
Even though I always felt like I was stuck in storms,It never felt I was left alone by my Lord,God never leave you alone.He never tests you beyond your limits.

The very first storm of my life,I can never forget it.Its was blackest time of my life,that storm took my Maa with it,it turned my life upside down.She was my support system,I would share everything with her,with her my problems always vanished.Problems of a 9 year could ever be.
Yes I was only 9 when I saw cancer eating away my Maa,everyday she was slowly slipping away.Seeing her smiling face was always such a comfort for me.

She had such soft and pious charisma to her.How she spoke,How she dressed.I wanted to be just like her.Maa and Baba had such beautiful and loving relationship with each other.They respected each other so much.

I couldn't sleep in those days. cuz I feared she won't  be alive in the morning.That was the day I decided i was gonna be a doctor.

Nightmares would haunt me through all night and hadn't left even after 12 years of her death.My parents moved to city from our ancestral residence for my better schooling,I had to leave behind my home friends after Maa,in few days everything was taken away from me.

"Asalamalikum Da" I came to see my da after college,
"Walikumsalam,"his short reply came like he was still angry with me.

"This is really good Da yeah,you neglected your health instead of me getting angry at you you are angry"it was Always like that whenever I put him on a strict diet,he becomes a child.

My grandfather my "Daa" was the one person whom i could confine myself too,My grandma would take care of me like maa,but after Maa it always felt I connected more too my grandfather,it felt he understood me on some deeper level,It wasn't just after Maa,I was always very close to him and very dear to him.He was like my best friend.I was more close to him than I was even with my father.
"Look my little girl I'm your Da,you aren't mine,now I'll be lectured over everything han,I think I had made a huge mistake making you a doctor."
I smiled on him trying to be as dramatic as ever my Da.
"Da you know what even a minor negligence does to your health you have really bad diabetes don't you,than why do you do this yourself"
"Look my dear it's over between us,I don't want such strict friend who's no fun at all"
"No da take it as my revenge OK you did these things to me too when I was child whenever I use to get sick,now tables have turned" said putting my arms around his neck and laughing on his comment.
"I can't never win from you is it".
"Yes never my friend now tell me what do you want me to cook for you".

He was getting old and even though
Allahumdulliah he didn't have any life threatening disease,it was as he was giving up on his willingness to live,and that was scaring me.
"No I've already eaten,go have lunch and sleep,you study all night and don't get enough sleep at all,you know how much it worries me".
"Da,I had lunch at college,don't worry about me so much please where's Maryum she said she wanted help with some subjects"
"She has gone to her uncles house with your aunt"
"See she never leaves a chance of getting out of the house"i said getting in bed with da.

I was trying not to show my fears to Da I didn't want to worry him.
After Maa with some time I started to except what was to come my way in life,I was trying to get use to of being motherless not having her waiting for me when I come back from school. It was so traumatic,because my nightmares were getting worse my grandfather would take me too his room read some Holy verses of Quran and would blow on me,that became my safe place.And that still gives me peace and I still sleep with Da sometimes.

It was almost 5pm when I woke up,and whole house was in chaos,when I asked Maryyum what was happening why was everyone so hyper.

"Api Moosa Bhai is coming"she told me excitedly and I felt ground slipping from under neath my feet.
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Author Note

Asalamalikum and hello everyone .
I'm from Pakistan.I hope you'll like my story this is something I have in mind since ages and couldn't pen it down. It's my first work. I hope we will interact alongside this.

Copying it will be not tolerated and action will be made.
So please don't do that.
Thank you.