Belongs To An Insouciant

After Days.

Nov 15

I didn't come face to face to Moosa in 10 days.He never tried too,so I was thankful he doesn't have any interest in this so-called nikkah.

I was busy in preprations for my exams ,I was happy Moosa didn't initiate anything,I could not have concentrated on preparing for exams in peace if he would have.I was reviled that there was no wedding happening.
I heard he took over Taya's company since he's back.Because Taya wanted to get some time off.

Da was found praising his grandson all the time about his compatibility of handling business,he saw him working for first time.

Moosa works till late in the evening.That was worked in my favor my day was not spent locked up in my room now.My finales were starting tomorrow.So I came to get prayers of my Da.It was kinda habbit now,asking him to pray for me the night before every exam.

"Da".
"Come on in my child"he was watching news.
"Asalamalikum,Da I'm so scared for tomorrow,it feel like how I felt before mcat".I said lying on his lap.
"Don't be scared you my child your hard work would pay off, my pray are with you too".he was was caressing my hairs soothingly.
"Don't stress yourself too much,or you will get sick ok and all your hard work will go to waste,go sleep so you won't be tired when you wake up."
"OK Da I have do some revision than I'll sleep,Good night".

I saw Moosa coming in when I came out of Da's room.I covered my face.He was in his suit,probably he just came back from office.

God I don't want to face him right now.He was closing the door of the entrance.

"Asalamalikum".I was climbing stairs to go to my room when I heard him greet me.
"Walikumsalam" God why, today of all days why does he has to come in front of me today.Unwillingly I turned to greet him back.
"Best of luck for tomorrow".God is he wishing me for exams how does he know.
He was standing by end of staircase now.
"Maryyum told me about your exams".I think he saw that I was confused.Maryyum couldn't keep her mouth shut ever.

"Ok thank you" I turned back to go to my room after thanking him,so he won't say anything else.

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January

Moosa Jahngir Hayat Khan

It's been almost a month now since I was here in Pakistan.Baba really wanted to get all the responsibilities of business off his shoulder,I have taken over business in Pakistan to now.
There were many projects going on here before me it was getting really difficult for me to go back to U.K.

These 6 years really did a number on Da's health.i could see he really missed me,it was as he was almost losing his will of living.

His eyes seemed they have lost sight.
I know he loves me alot it must have been difficult for him to live without me.

Its been so long since I'm here but he never once mentioned anything about my Nikkah.
Da may not have said anything but Baba was too furious with me on not caring about Ilham or anyone for that matter.First night here and he blasted me with whatever rage he could.Baba had that strict nature.
 
On the very first day he insulted me so much,I felt chagrined and humiliated that day,he said why did you agree to do nikkah if you couldn't be a man enough to accept it,you ran off like a coward,that too for so many years.According to him I had fallen from grace by doing so.

I couldn't make him understand me no matter what I said it was a stupid reason to him.He's been like this since forever it was big reason I was so close to Da,Da understood me.

Why does it seemed Da was also hopeless about my nikkah.
Chacha(father's younger brother) seemed he was angry with me too him he'll ignore me most of the times I was around him.

Everyone seemed to have great amount of love for Ilham,all of my family is very protective of her.There was a point in my life where I heard Maa wanted me to get married to her niece but even she is really happy having Ilham as her daughter in law.

More than half of the time there was only one name on Maryyum's tongue too and that too was Ilham.
I decided I'll talk to Ilham after her exams.

My Nikkah was not to be deferred for the rest of my life.one more month and my 7th nikkah anniversary will come 20 feb.Maa and Baba were also in hurry for wedding.

I had to establish myself,make an identity of my own.I never wanted to live off my father's money or my inheritance.That was not my achievement.
I was just a rich heir Moosa Jahngir Hayat Kahn not a man who had achieved anything yet,it was my biggest misery at a time when I was taking oath of making someone my wife,when I was taking oath of taking care of my wife's necessity,I was a bloody no one.I had no accomplishments on my name.
Now that I've made a name in business on my own I can make a good living.

In these seven years I never once forgot I'm in a relationship with someone.
i knew I had to get married when I came it was part of the plan when I decided to come to Pakistan.

Knowing Ilham was an intelligent and hardworking girl made me really happy. Intelligence always attracts me.
I like a person who works on building their personalities.It's time to know what was Ilham intending for this relation

Because I'm sure now she's isn't as immature as she was seven years ago.
The time I had decided give us has come to end now.I was not a no one now.

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