Belongs To An Insouciant

Doesn't know her Name

January

"Da jaan what will I do about my house job.I'm worried where I should apply,I have never been out like this.I'm very nervous".

I was sitting with Da in his room I had my head on his lap.

"You don't have to worry about anything Ilham you are an intelligent girl and its also part of your education,you'll do great my child.I can't let you go too far from home.I've a great friend who owns a hospital he's keeping an eye on your academic record he called yesterday and told me to send you for the interview."

"Really Da thank you I was also worried about how far would I have to go,but you are sure he isn't doing it because of your friendship you didn't influence his decision right it will be on fair grounds"as much as I wanted to be working in a place I would feel comfort  if there's someone known around,I wanted it to fair .I said moving to look at him.

"Yes my child you know I won't ask for favour to anyone,specially if it's an unfair favour not even for you,you know Javaid has studied in abroad he is a every smart man when he heard about your academic record he was very impressedand he made me promise him that you'll chose his hospital,and you don't even need to get any favour from anyone".

"Da that's wonderful  I'm so excited for the day when I'll receive my license for practice,when I'll be Dr Ilham Haider Hayat Khan".

"Da your grand daughter is going to become a doctor but she still doesn't know her name".

I heard Moosa he just entered,I covered my face as quickly as I could.A person who has nothing to do with my life doesn't have any right to see me like any other person.
I don't understand what he meant form what he said and I don't intend to know it,I tried leaving but he was still standing in the door,blocking my way. out.

"Please move".I whispered standing in front of him.But he won't budge.
"Its Ilham Moosa Hayat Khan,Isn't it.
And I need to talk to you".He said so care freely,like it was so normal like we talk everyday.

What does he want to talk about,maybe he wanted to end our relationship.
I couldn't believe he'll ask me to talk to him in front of Da so blatantly.

"I don't want to talk to you".I said looking into his eyes,he should know he can't corner me like this.
"May I know why".he said leaning a little towards me.I really cannot believe his audacity.

"Ilham my child go,I'll talk to him".
I turned to look at Da and nodded yes .
I know Da must be astonished too by Moosa's antics .

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Moosa Jahngir Hayat Khan

"Moosa before talking to my daughter talk to me". Da is talking to me in pretty harsh tone.
"What do you want to say to her".
"Why Da why can't I talk to her,do I need to take anyone's permission to talk to my own wife".he had such resentment in his behaviour today.I could see it was because of how protective he is of Ilham.

"Oh really isn't it a little too late for you to realise it,I thought you had abandoned her forever,or is it now you had a sudden change of heart".

"What do you take me for Da,do you think I would do that to my wife,am I a person who could be so moral less,I can't believe you after Baba you think the same about me."
I sat down holding my head in my hands,what was everyone thinking of me,frist day Baba took out all rage on me without even listening to me,did they really thought so lowly of me.

"Moosa Ilham has lived all these years waiting for that day you'll leave her and marry someone else,she does not consider you her husband,because this relationship was limited to a piece of paper that's all,so don't try to be her husband now if you weren't one since last 6 years.She.. "

"She does not consider herself my wife,what in freaking world Da"i stood up I'm was so aggravated."and this is just because I didn't contact her.
How old was she at that time Da did she even knew what a marriage was,I wanted to give her time to grow up.It was important for me to make an identity of my own,I was just a student who was son of a rich dad.
Was I capable of bringing a girl into my life but I had to take that decision in a very early age,and for who because you and Dadi thought we were meant to be I and ilham are meant to be, I had to become capable of taking a responsibility of a girl."

"So you just made a decision for both of you,you made an assumption she was too immature without even knowing her.
She was always a little too mature for her age Moosa because of what life she had to live without her mother.She stopped being a kid at the age of 9.You couldn't even tell her father of your decision or me you did nikkah and after two days we came to know you were going back,You never even bothered asking about her wellbeing and you consider yourself her husband."

"Listen Da I wanted to keep my distance from Ilham so she could live a normal life"I said holding his hand.
"I'm only explaining myself to you,I don't think I need to do that for someone else. I'm only letting you be the one who can question me,I won't allow anyone else to question my intentions towards my wife. I shouldn't have let it go for this long.I married her it wasn't a joke for me I made her my wife,this is matter of my honour,it isn't a joke."

I think I neglected the fact that Ilham was not 16 years old for some time now.She may have needed me,specially thinking about norms of our culture.
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