Grow old with You(Raihan x Reader x Leon)

I'm sorry.

I know I haven't updated in awhile, but ya know here's something to cover up for it till I get rid of my writer's block.

I don't know with y'all, but I sound kinda stupid writing some sort of rant to cover for a well awaited chapter. But I don't think I'm in the right mental space for another chapter at the moment.
Right now, I'm doing my best to write a chapter with Immapotatoe10  and we're collaborating great, and we're doing our best for the next chapter. The next chapter is currently seated at 500 words, and it's going steady.

I'd like to apologize for making so much people wait for another update, the writer's block has taken over and I regret letting myself give in to it. I feel guilty for not being a good enough writer and not stepping up to my responsibilities and not updating. I am aware that most writers and people in general, do have to take a break from work sometimes, but I'm someone who like most people, strive for perfection and validation, and not updating doesn't make me feel any better.

I'm sorry for not being able to reach anyone's standards because of my shitty writing, but I apologize for that as well. I'm sorry if this chapter is making you feel any negative, and if it does then go read something else positive that will make you feel happier. I'm human like everyone else in this world and I do have my rights to take a break every now and then, but I have a feeling that I haven't been working hard enough. I may sound selfish and self centered, and I will keep apologizing for that even though you don't want me to.

When I'm away from Wattpad, I'm an average high school student who aims for honors, wants to have a bunch of friends, and has some crushes every now and then. I don't really say this to people because I come off as someone who doesn't really care in general. I look like I don't care if I have honors or not, I look like I don't care if I don't have a group of friends, and I look like I don't care if my crush is wandering off with someone else I don't know. I hide a lot of things and sometimes it's so easy to do so online, and that's why I want to come clean. I keep a lot of things to myself and I only tell a certain amount of people. But despite that, I want to write for y'all here on Wattpad, because it's a hobby of mine and I'm a people pleaser.

I know I'm talking about all my flaws and not my good qualities, but I'm just a negative in person in general. I want to be positive all the time even if I'm just 'King Geurge' online, but it seems almost close to impossible when I am surrounded by negativity in school. I have began to lose trust in certain people and it's frustrating when you've been replaced. I'm sorry, I had to say it.

I'm a person who will put themselves down to make others happier, because like I said, I'm a people pleaser. I'm someone who anticipates every negative outcome before believing in a positive one. I'm someone who will put on a mask and act like a bubbly and outgoing person and smile all the time, but on the inside I'm hurting and I don't wanna show it. If I like someone, I put myself down. If I do something right, I'll still put myself down. I want to fit in the Virgo stereotype: Smart, practical, loyal. But I'm just the complete opposite.

But do ya know those moments where you're surrounded by a bunch of negativity and noise to the point you appreciate every moment you're alone? Yeah that's kinda me every day now. I am learning to love myself more and I've challenged myself to fully appreciate, understand, and love myself before my birthday this August. January has been dedicated to starting the year off great, but that didn't really go as planned. Febuary will be dedicated to me getting over someone who I have absolutely no chance with, because I'm what? Pathetic. Lmao if peeholes lead her to reading this I'll be shooketh. And then the rest of the months will just be pure sELf LoVe, ChiLDreN-

Anyway, I'm sorry if you thought I was discontinuing the story or something. I just wanted to apologize about my flaws and rant about my imperfections to a bunch of people, even if I do know some of my readers irl. Sometimes remaining anonymous to most people and hiding behind a persona is a nice thing sometimes, just in my opinion and point of view.

But that's it for now! See y'all lovelies in the next chapter. Signing off!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜