𝕊𝕆𝕄𝔼𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼𝕊 𝕐𝕆𝕌 | Minsung

Track #7

I sat at home scrolling through my files. Grabbing a select few that I was willing to show Chan and Changbin. They had a studio, they knew what they were doing. I was just some kid playing notes and writing words in his bedroom.

They offered to have me over on Friday, after school, and it was Thursday afternoon. They said they could give me some feedback and let me listen to some of their own tracks. I was fine with criticism but I didn't want to seem like an amateur. I really was serious about music. It wasn't just a hobby, it was my way of expressing things, expressing my emotions. I dreamt of being in front of a crowd, having that effect on people, the same effect music has on me.

I continued going through the long list of tracks. Only having chosen two. I figured three was a good amount. Not too many that it would get annoying but enough to give them an idea of how I work and what sort of music I make.

Most of my songs had titles as I could simply choose a couple words that summed up the song but if there was ever a time I couldn't think of a title I would just name it track. I started seeing a few of those songs, titled 'track #1', 'track #2', 'track #3' and so on. It wasn't very often I didn't come up with a title, so the highest it could have gone is ten. Meaning it wasn't too difficult to remember which was which.

However I stumbled upon 'track #7' and I could not, for the life of me, remember what it was. Curious, I opened the file, seeing the lyrics, the notes and a recording of the song. It must have been done a while ago.

I clicked the video, waiting for the music to start.

It's too fast
I've waited for this moment, what about you?
Are you a little scared? Or are you excited?
To be honest, it hurts to send you away

Every time the day went by slowly, I prayed for it to pass by quickly
But right now I feel the opposite
I'd like for this moment to stop for a bit
Time don't stay here, go somewhere else

One, two, three, once again back to the 13
I became the singer that I wanted to become back then
I still can't believe it but I'm happy
I'm satisfied that my dream came with a lot of luck

But this moment that I've waited for even before I started to dream is here and
I just want to stop time
I'm still not ready
I'm waiting all the way over there
The old me is waiting

Why does this day feel like it's passing by so quickly
When I count to three
Can everything disappear like a dream
And I go back to where I was before

Back, back, back, back, back, back
Go back to before
Where everyday was the same, same, same, same, same, same
Same back then
If right now passes then it'll seem so far away
It'll feel like I won't be able to see the current me again
I just wanna go back
Back, back, back, back, back, back
Back to before

Now the way I talk has gotten more mature
It's a bit unfamiliar but I walk around like I'm confident
But I'm like a middle school student who's acting as an adult
I'm still immature and I just can't get used to it
The hours after 10pm that I've gotten close with
The signs that don't allow minors don't relate to me anymore
But my dad and mom still look at me like a kid
And strangely this is something I'm still used to

Pay attention how old are you now that you're still asking for the impossible
Soon I'll have to take off my name tag as a teenager
This should be good enough
Continue on naturally, don't be uncomfortable
Everybody was like this too

Twenty years old that I wanted to become so badly
Did everybody go through this same experience or am I the only one
That's anxious?
Not even other people, but people close to me like my mom, dad, and brother
Did they spend this day like this too?

This place that felt so big
This place that felt so awkward
This place that felt so big

Hearing a slightly younger me singing was nostalgic. The memories of writing this song came back to me as it continued. Every word brought back a time when I was younger. The song applied to a lot of things. Maybe that's why I couldn't title it. I was young, the older I got, the more I felt the burden of being more mature, having different rules, different responsibilities. It scared me. At the same time, so many things were on my mind when I wrote that song. So many other things were embedded in those lyrics. So much so, I'd be lucky to remember half the things I was trying to say. That's sort of a problem I face when it comes to music. Picking something to write about, and only writing about that one thing, I guess it just felt so confining.

I decided it was a good example to show Chan and Changbin so I put it with the other two songs I had chosen and waited for the time to come around, so as that I could show them or even impress them with my music.