𝕊𝕆𝕄𝔼𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼𝕊 𝕐𝕆𝕌 | Minsung

It's My Fault

I dragged myself through the halls. The last three days of school had felt like a nightmare. I was exhausted and pissed off, not really knowing why.

I sat down in my chair ready for an absolutely horrible excuse of a Friday...when I saw Jisung.

He was back. He had finally decided to show up. Funny how he decided to be sick the day after I gave him the note. It was probably my fault for being nice to him. He hates me. Why can't I just get that through my thick skull?

He was covering his face. He looked out of it, like he was ready to go straight back home.

It's my fault.

He didn't even look at me. Then again had he ever looked at me? or was that only when I annoyed him.

It's my fault.

The second he sat down in his chair I felt a weight fall onto me.

It's my fault.

Say something. I had to say something. Anything. He was mad at me for being nice to him right? He was mad at me for thanking him right? So I'll show him that I didnt mean it. Maybe then he'll talk to me or look at me or just...something.

"F-finally decided to show up huh?" Damnit Minho, couldn't even do that right, stupid stutter.

But Jisung didn't reply at all. He just ignored me and buried his face in his arms.

-

"F-finally decided to show up huh?" My breath hitched. Minho's voice hit my heart like an arrow. I couldn't even get a single word out. I could barely hold back the tear that fell down my face as I burried my head in my arms.

Why did it have to be like this? Can't I just go back to hating him?

It had become extremely apparent how much time I spent around Minho in a single school day now that I was trying so hard to avoid him. Was he always in this many of my classes? Was it always this hard not to look at him? Why was this stupid feeling in my chest not going away?

-

I couldn't take it anymore, him avoiding me was messing with my sanity. Ignoring every word I said. Turning away from me everytime I looked his way. What did I do that was so bad? Did he really hate me this much?

I was walking down the halls after the last bell had rung. Then I saw that stupid head of blonde hair.

That was it. The last straw. This was turning me inside out.

"Jisung!" He didn't turn around when I yelled, what a surprise. 

"Jisung!" Still nothing. I quickened my pace but I was still too far away. I needed him to stop for a second.

"Squirrel!" He finally stopped. Not taking another step. So a nickname did the trick? That's what got him to stop? I hadn't called him that for years. "Jisung I don't know what the hell is wrong with yo-" before I could even get a full sentence out he was turned towards me with his finger stabbed into my chest.

"You! You're what's wrong with me! I-I hate you!" Before I could even react Jisung ran off. A few stray sets of eyes landing on the scene that occurred between us in the school halls.

As soon as I had the ability to move again, I ran after him. I wasn't going to just let him get away. He had said he hated me before...but the dread in his voice. The pure anger and sadness in his eyes. The sore feeling that laid on his features...

I flicked through the people that were dispersed in the streets trying to find him. As soon as I saw the grey hoodie I ran. He was running too so I didn't have much luck gaining on him until I saw him run into the studio.

I opened the glass doors. Catching a glimpse of him walking into the studio room. I followed after.

Then, as soon as I saw him I didn't have anything to say...but he did.

"Don't say anything. I don't want to hear it. I don't want anything from you. I-I don't...I don't want anything to do with you anymore." Jisung couldn't even look at me when his words left his lips.

This was real. This was what it had come to. This is what we had come to. He always got annoyed and angry but I always thought somewhere within me maybe there was some part of us that were...friends? I guess I was wrong, very wrong.

He didn't want to talk to me. He didn't want to hear me. He didn't want to look at me. So I wasn't going to make him. I left. I left him knowing the tears continued to fall down his face. I left. I left him knowing I still had no idea how to fix this. I left. I left not knowing if I would ever have the choice to leave him again.