𝕊𝕆𝕄𝔼𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼𝕊 𝕐𝕆𝕌 | Minsung

Sorry

The tears in my bedsheets had started to stain and the clothes I wore were starting to smell. I couldn't even bare leave my room. The empty glasses sat around my bed. At this point my parents had stopped trying to talk to me, but don't get it wrong, they didn't give up easily. They spent almost four hours trying to get me to say something but even when I tried to speak, only the struggled breaths and choked sobs left me.

Between my cries the knock on my door didn't reach me and neither did the creak of it being gently pushed open.

"Honey, it's me. Listen, I know you are hurting but I hate seeing you like this. If you're not gonna talk to me is there someone you will talk to?" My mother's voice was soft. Like a blanket being pulled over me on a cold winters night, but her words somehow made it worst.

It only hurt more. Who I wanted to talk to? Who was I supposed to talk to? I didn't have friends. Chan and Changbin were nice, of course they were. But they didn't care about me, I'd known them for like a month. I didn't know anyone, except Minho. I've never had any friends, except Minho. The knives hitting my chest became sharper. Every hit hurting more. I just wanted it to stop.

"Sungie, please..." I didn't answer so my mother left the room, a defeated sigh leaving her as she did.

-

"Minho, what's up with you?"

"Are you ok?"

"Minho come on you've barely talked all day."

"I invited you over to hang out, not for you to look like someone died."

Well to me it felt like someone did die. The missing piece that fell out of me like it was laying on the floor in front of me but I could only watch it as it struggled.

"Minho, I'm being serious. Tell me what's going on." I wasn't sure what to say to Hyunjin. I had been at his house the whole day. I just wanted the day to last forever. I wasn't sure if I was ready to go back to school yet.

"I ruined it." I could tell Hyunjin couldn't understand, but I didn't know how else to explain.

"What did you ruin Minho?"

"Everything." Hyunjin's sympathetic eyes made my shoulders slump. I hated this.

"Does it...Does it have to do with...Jisung." My thoughts were slightly broken by his tone. Why did he say his name like that?

"Why did you say it like that? Like you're disgusted?" I felt a little bit of anger rise in me. I didn't mean for it, but for some reason, I felt offended on Jisung's behalf.

"What do you mean like I'm disgusted? I am disgusted. You talk about him like he's the only person who exists, yet he hates you. How can you live like that? Yes he disgusts me. He's a jerk and an idi-" I have no idea what came over me, but before I knew it, Hyunjin's collar was in my fist.

"Don't call him that. Don't ever say that about him." At first Hyunjin was shocked at the outburst but he wasn't planning to take anything he said back.

"No. I'll call him what I want. I don't know what you see in him. I don't know why you think he's so special." I was getting more frustrated with every word Hyunjin spoke.

"What do you mean? I think he's special. What is that even supposed to mean?" The chuckle that left Hyunjin's mouth aggravated me more.

"I know you're in love with him." I lightly loosened my grip on his shirt.

"I-in what?"

"Don't play dumb. You can't be serious. You spend literally every second of your life worrying about him. If you aren't in love with Jisung, I don't know what love is."
I let go of Hyunjin completely, leaving him to fall back onto the floor. In love? I've never been in love in my life. In love with anyone would be a surprise, but with Jisung?

I grabbed my jacket and left. I was still mad at Hyunjin and as much as I wanted to argue with him, prove him wrong, I needed to do something.

-

I lied on my bed facing the wall. Another knock on my door. Why couldn't my mother understand I wanted to be alone?

"Mum...go away!" It wasn't intentional but the cries made the words that I spoke broken, though I still managed to spit out a sentence.

Even with my words I heard the door open, great. I still didn't turn. I hoped my mother would just get the message.

"It's not your mum." My crying stopped. My breath was gone. My heart was pinned to my chest.

No. Please no.

"I-I know you don't want to talk to me but I can't do it anymore Jisung. I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend. I can't act like I'm okay with you hating me." As much as I wanted to tell him to leave...I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to hold me and tell me it was okay. "I-if you want me to l-leave, fine but know that...I don't hate you. I don't think...I don't think I ever have." I could hear the breaking of his words...was he crying?

I gained enough strength to turn myself towards him on my bed. He was crying. This is the most I have ever hurt. Out of all the stinging stabs and the aching pains, this was the worst.

Seeing Minho cry was it. I thought I had reached my lowest of lows until a tear ran down his cheek.

Tears were falling before, but now they were raining from my eyes. I lifted myself up with some of the remaining strength I had left and used the rest of it to pull him into my arms.

"I'm sorry." My voice barely above a whisper but I know he heard it as I felt his arms pull around my waist.

"I'm sorry too."

-

Of course they stood sobbing into each others shoulders for awhile. Neither of them being able to speak. Only basking in each other's pain.

Jisung's breath pulled as Minho moved away.

"Jisung...I..." I love you. That's what he wanted to say, but he couldn't ruin it. He had to be careful. He didn't want to take another step back from Jisung ever again. "Friends?" Jisung showed a weak smile in response. He wasn't sure what else to expect from Minho. Friends will have to do, for now.

Jisung hugged him once again. The feeling too comforting to pass up.

"I would stay but I have to go to school tomorrow." Minho said with a sorrow look. Jisung glanced at the alarm clock set on his bedside table. It was actually quite late. He started to realise, did Minho really come to his house at nine o'clock at night on a Sunday? Idiot.

"Well I'll see you there."

-

Hyunjin
Where did you go?
To see Jisung?

Minho
Yes and there's nothing you can do about it.
Yeah I love him.
If you have a problem with it you can take it up with me.

Hyunjin stared down at the texts. This wasn't happening. He swore he wouldn't let Jisung steal Minho. He knew Jisung was bad news as soon as he started going to their school. He wasn't going to let Jisung get away with this.