Serendipity: The Amazing Journey Of A Soulmate

10. Uncontrollably fond

Carefully, Namjoon places the food on the table, then comes back for the side dishes I prepared in advance. Leaning on the kitchen counter, I watch him approaching again, his eyes locked on mine like magnets. His full lips are parted, the veins on his neck thick and prominent. I feel a drop of sweat climbing down my spine, suddenly feeling too hot. "It's because of the stove" I lie to myself. He grabs the tray with the small bowls and says "Are you done staring? The food is getting cold" a small smirk appearing on his face like he knows too well the effect he has on me. I break the eye contact and grabbing the bottle of wine, I say "I'm not. But let's eat first." Since when am I this confident around men? He smiles in delight while my stomach starts churning and not from hunger. Jesus Christ, the way he's shamelessly flirting with me excites me and I'm too sober to handle this sexual tension. I quickly pour a glass of wine and drink it all in one go, then follow him to the table. This is going to be a long evening.
As we're dining, we start talking about BTS' upcoming album. To say that Namjoon is excited for their new project, it'd be an understatement. He talks with so much passion about music, his face radiating like a sun. I listen to him patiently, smiling lazily, my eyes never leaving his handsome face. From time to time he stops his stories just to place a piece of beef or a radish from his plate on mine, smiling cutely at me. This man. This man is something else. He is a fiercely burning fire and I'm attracted to his flames like a moth. I may get burnt if I come too close, but at this point I don't even care anymore. All I know is that I want to linger. His warmth is soothing.

"How are you dealing with all this, Joonie? Making music, doing what you like must be exhilarating, but I know there is sacrifice coming with the package" I ask. "Ah," he starts, the smile vanishing from his face. "It is sacrifice, yes. The sleepless nights, the overwork or the little time with our families, I guess these are pretty common for people who try to achieve success, be them artists or not." He looks at me and our eyes lock in a shared understanding. "However, the real sacrifice is having to live up to other people's expectations. The pressure is huge. With so many limitations, it gets pretty lonely out there" he continues, moving his gaze on an empty space in the air somewhere over my shoulder. "You can't please everyone, no matter how hard you try. They'll always come back for more until you have nothing left to give them, so they turn against you. I've learned that the hard way." I say, Namjoon's gaze falling back on me. He's looking deep into my eyes, reading there all my unspoken words. I have been hurt. I have been drained and left behind like an old well. I'm still healing. "What I'm trying to say is that you should put yourself first, no matter what" I continue. "I'm trying, you know? Me and my brothers are really trying to live as freely as we can, despite this confinement. I've seen some of them giving their hearts away recently and that's the most liberating thing we can do." Namjoon says, a smile appearing in the corner of his mouth. He must be talking about Tae and Hoseok. The most genuine feeling of happiness floods me at the realization. They are in love. I pray they're getting back the love they deserve.
"But there are days, moments, when nothing feels right; when doing my best may not be enough and I feel lost. These days are bad. And still, we endure. Because that's what we do." he continues. "Don't let the bad days win" I murmur. He just nods, pursing his lips.
"Lean on me" I blurt out. Namjoon looks at me confused so I continue, slightly bending over the table to get closer to him. "When things get too hard, you can lean on me" my voice a small whisper. At that, he reaches out for my hand, holding it tight and caressing my skin with his thumb. I gape at him, not quite sure how to interpret his gesture. Namjoon gives me a sweet smile and gazes at me through hooded eyes, a look I cannot decipher. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I murmur, gulping. "Because you're beautiful" he replies softly. The way he said it...it's so different from flirting. He said it like he sees something there, deep inside me, worthy of his attention.  And I can feel the ice in my heart slowly melting, its place being taken by a comforting warmth.
"Thank you" he continues, his smile growing bigger now. My soul is overwhelmed and I'm fighting to find the right words.
"I'll help you deal with the annoying people too. You know, we can't go around punching them, but we can throw lawsuits in their ugly faces" I add sipping from my wine, nonchalantly. I noticed he didn't touch his glass yet. Maybe he still feels the effects of his recent hangover. He releases my hand and laughs really loud at my attempted joke, tilting his head back. "Always so bellicose" he says. I burst out laughing as well, when I hear a knock on the door. Who'd be at this hour? I wasn't expecting anyone. We both look in the direction of the entrance and then at each other, his eyes questioning. I shrug and sitting up, I walk towards the apartment door to open it.

"Inna-ya! What's up girl?" I hear my best friend shout. "Mirae!" I say dumbfounded.
"Thought you might need some company" she says cheerfully. Well, not really.
Seeing I don't make any move to let her in, she furrows her brows suspiciously.
"What were you doing? Oh my god! Were you watching porn?" she says rising her chin and looking over my shoulder trying to peek inside.
"Yah!" I yell at my friend, making a face to suggest her she should be quiet. "What?" she says. "Don't you dare to deny because I saw some weird shit on your lapt-" she starts shouting, but I cut her monologue placing my palm over her mouth to silence her. Jesus Christ, Mirae! She looks at me wide eyed, not understanding what's happening. "He's here" I mouth. "He?" Mirae mouths back, feeling her lips moving under my palm. Is she dumb? Realization soon floods her face and her eyes grow wider. "Ohhh!" she tries to say. I retract my hand and uncover her mouth. "What are you guys up to? Were you on a date?" she whispers excitedly.
Rolling my eyes, I'm about to say something when I hear Mirae swear under her breath staring behind me. "Everything alright, Inna?" Namjoon says, coming to my side, seconds later. He looks at Mirae curiously, studying her. Just then Jiwoo appears in the frame door, taking in the whole scene, visibly confused. I never told him about Namjoon and he's probably  asking himself what is a man doing in my house this late at night.
"Inna" he starts saying, taking a step towards me, but Joon protectively wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him. Jiwoo stops in his tracks, his serious gaze falling on my waist which Namjoon is holding for dear life. "Who are you?" Jiwoo says carefully watching the other man, clearly unsatisfied with the sight. Beside me, Joon adopted a stance that's both defiant and powerful: straight back, clenched jaw, piercing stare. I lift my eyes to look at him and my heart starts racing in my chest. He looks intimidating. I try to move away from him, but his grip on me tightens. What is he doing?
"Oh, oppa, you're here too!" I say putting a smile on my face, not really reaching my eyes. What are they doing at my house at this hour and why do they have to interrupt my date? Wait, what am I saying? This is not even a date. I shake my head imperceptibly to banish these foolish thoughts. "Oppa?" Joon says glaring at me.
"Umm" I say clearing my throat. "Namjoon, these are my best friend Park Mirae and her older brother, Park Jiwoo. They're basically family." I feel his body relaxing a bit, releasing a small breath. "Guys, this is Kim Namjoon" I continue.
"Hello. It's nice to meet you!" Mirae says with a smile, bowing. "Ah, Annyeonghaseyo!" Namjoon bows back, returning the smile.
"What is he doing here, Inna?" Jiwoo asks, ignoring everyone else, his handsome face scowling. What's his problem? I know Jiwoo is a bit overprotective with his sister and me, but he is worse than ever now. I can't seem to find a valid explanation for his hostile attitude.
From the corner of my eye I see Mirae slowly grabbing her brother's sleeve and pulling him backwards. "Jiwoo" she whispers with a warning. Namjoon's muscles shift against my back and I hate that I am aware of every move that he's making, every place where he's touching me, my body relentlessly yearning for him. This man is dangerous, making me feel things I've never felt before. Pull yourself together, idiot! I scold myself.
"We were just having dinner" I say looking at Jiwoo whose mouth is set in a straight line. Moving my eyes to Mirae in search of help, she catches my gaze and grabs his shoulder, faking a laugh: "Ahh, oppa, we should head back now. Obviously she's not being lonely as we thought." Jiwoo, however has other plans. "No" he says flatly. "Oppa! Mirae exclaims.
"I think we should join you. We brought soju" he adds, rising the bag he was carrying. I look up at Namjoon and I say smirking: "Well, I think that's a great idea since Mr. Kim here is refusing to drink with me." He finally releases me from his grip and I take a step back, making space for my friends to get inside. Mirae is the first one to enter the apartment and heads cheerfully to the living room, followed by Jiwoo who stops and stares for a few seconds at Namjoon's feet, the latter giving him a smug smile. Jiwoo mumbles something under his breath and I hear Mirae loud whispering "Behave!" hitting him in the shoulder. "But he's wearing my slippers" he replies holding his shoulder with his other hand and pretending he is hurt.
"This whole alpha male battle is fun" I say with a grin, turning to lock the door. "Funnier than the things you have on your laptop?" Namjoon speaks in my ear, unable to hide his amusement.