Serendipity: The Amazing Journey Of A Soulmate

14. Choices

I pick a bike and get on it, slowly making my way to the Dongjak Bridge. The usual lively streets of Seoul are impossibly quiet today. Only a few people can be seen walking on the cracked sidewalks, the everyday rush vanished into nothingness. I'm glad for this sentiment of solitude these streets give me, the shy morning light perfectly completing the scenery.
The weather has been very mild for this time of the year, the sun more present than usual. It's as if the weather itself can sense the changes in me, our existence working in tandem. But the mornings are chilly, the cool air creeping through my thin jacket, making my skin prickle. The sensation is similar to the mornings after a night full of nightmares: cold and lonely. Removing one hand from the handle bar, I pop the collar of my jacket, burying my neck in it. I should've brought a scarf.
Looking up, I let the sun warm my face with its heavenly rays just like someone I know warmed my frozen soul: slowly, gently, irremediably.
The voice in my ears urges me to not look back and live. Live so that I won't have regrets later. Live to the fullest. Ah, Sasha Sloan, if things were as simple as you sing about it. Life is a maze and no matter how confidently you walk through it, you may get lost a few times before you find the exit. I've lost the way so many times already. But at the same time, getting lost it means going in the right direction. It's a paradox. I have lost myself in the abyss of a pair of coal black eyes, and yet, I've never felt more like I am walking on the right path. I don't know what I will find at the end of this journey. I don't know if there will be sunshine or the darkest night waiting for me. Either way, I won't stop walking because this time, there is a reassuring presence beside me. This time, I feel like I'm not walking alone.
I stop my bike and look at the male figure standing in front of me on the bridge. Namjoon has his arms rested on the guard rail, looking in the distance, his eyes hidden by a black cap. He's wearing his FG white hoodie and a black pair of jogger pants. He looks so handsome and carefree, but his mind is unrest. I can see it in the straight lines of his face, in the way his shoulders go up,  and if I could see his eyes, I'd probably see it in there as well. It's insane how much information our bodies reveal about our inner conflicts. I wonder what's going on in that beautiful mind of his. The way he stands now, lost in thought on an empty bridge, with his tan skin shining in the cold morning light, Namjoon looks like a work of art.
My artistic soul sparks off at the view, and while my eyes are swallowing this image of his, storing it for eternity in my mind, I get off the bike and pull out my camera, taking a few pictures of him. I just can't help it. The beauty of this man is beyond any of what I have encountered before. His appearance as striking as his soul. He is not a man without flaws, but that's what makes him so appealing. His brokenness, his inner demons that seem to get along with mine.
He doesn't seem to have noticed my presence yet. I frown at that. Is he so absorbed in his thoughts that he can't feel anything around him?

I suddenly feel playful. Hanging my DSLR on my neck, I approach him with silent steps. I stop right behind him and raising on my tiptoes, I put my hands over his eyes.
"Guess who" I whisper, brushing my chest on his back. We're so close I'm pretty sure he can feel my heart going crazy in my chest. His body relaxes under my touch.
"Inna" he replies, not changing his position. "Ah, you're not fun! I wanted to surprise you!" I pout, starting to remove my hands from his face, but he stops me. Namjoon gently covers my hands with his big masculine ones, his touch a comforting warmth I didn't realize I've been seeking.
"I could recognize you anywhere, anytime." His tone is calm, soothing, yet sad for some reason. I can't decipher the dejection in his voice, but his words rattle me. Standing so close behind him makes me become aware of the small distance between us and of every spot where our bodies touch. I drink in his scent, a combination of body lotion and fabric softener, letting a strange heat engulfing me which makes me feel hot despite the cold air. We stay like this for a few seconds, until he finally removes the cover on his eyes, turning to face me.
"Hi!" Namjoon murmurs, giving me a small smile on the corner of his mouth. Looking up at him, I find his dark eyes staring into mine, his gaze endearing. I'm not sure I'm breathing right now.
"Hi!" I manage to say holding his gaze and trying a smile. Now that he is facing me, the distance between us seems even smaller and despite my body craving his closeness, I take a step back. "You were gone earlier." He frowns a bit at me as if not understanding what I'm talking about. "Daydreaming?" I continue in a soft tone. "Oh! I- I guess I was." he laughs scratching his jaw and looking away. I can sense that there is something bothering him.
"Care to share with me?" I ask, fidgeting with the neck strap of my DSLR . "I don't think you would want to know what is going on in my head at the moment." Namjoon says, laughing sadly and fixing his gaze somewhere in the distance. "Maybe I want to. You should give me more credit" I say, playfully hitting his shoe with my foot. He lets out a small smile spread on his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes. It feels like he is only present here, next to me, with his body. His mind is miles away.
"Let's do this. A thought for a thought" I say in the hope of relieving  some of the weight from his mind. He takes a glimpse at me from the corner of his eye and then quickly hides his gaze from me by focusing on his shoes. I feel people on a different level and I can tell when something's wrong. He is not just distracted. His mind seems to be at war and I can't figure out the reason why.  I tilt my head to the side, searching for his eyes. "Hello? Earth to Joon" I say sarcastically, waving a hand in front of his face. He seems to notice me, his lips parting ready to say something, but changes his mind. He gulps hard instead.
"Why are you not looking at me?" I ask as I place my palm over his cheek, slowly turning his head towards me. "Because there is something in your eyes that makes me want to lay my soul bare in front of you" he answers, finally tearing his gaze away from the ground and focusing it on me. He looks at me as if he can see through my rib cage and straight into my soul. My chest is exploding and my mind becomes chaos as soon as I stare into those dark eyes. If only you knew the power you hold on me. "Don't hide from me, Namjoon. You should never hide from me. Lean on me, remember?" I utter nodding reassuringly. He wraps his long fingers around my wrist and removes my hand from his face, but he doesn't let go. Instead, he takes my hand in his, tracing imaginary circles on my skin with his thumb. I let myself sink in the sensation his touch gives me, warm and comforting.