Serendipity: The Amazing Journey Of A Soulmate

21. Badlands

The dress is insane! I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life. It covers only one shoulder, falling down my arm with a thin veil. The fabric is soft and fluid and it wraps around my body in all the right places, like a second skin. Even the colors are beautiful, a mixture of pale orange and purple. However, it is revealing, very revealing. The material is see through, with a deep cut on the right ride, exposing my whole leg from up above.  My entire back is bare, only a few buttons at the base of my waist are holding the fabric together.  At least it doesn't show too much skin at the front, my breasts are safe from embarrassment. What is worse, is that I'm not wearing anything underneath it. The panties I have brought could be seen through the dress, stealing its grace. My stylist argued that I should get rid of them, which I found scandalous, but in the end I gave up because I didn't want to ruin the show. But Lord knows how risky that is. If a small wind blows, I'm done for.

My hair is brushed back, letting it fall in wet waves on my back and my makeup is a smokey  eye look, complimenting my green irises. The lady who prepared me for the show made a good job covering my imperfections, my skin looking flawless and alive. "Inna, are you re- Wow!" Jiwoo says from behind me, staring at my reflection in the huge mirror. "You look- You are so gorgeous" Since when did he start making me compliments? "Jiwoo, I'm nervous." I confess meeting his stare in the mirror. Yes, I am nervous. But for an entirely different reason than what he thinks. If I would see Namjoon, I'll crumble down on the floor. "You don't have to. You will be great, I know that for sure. Besides, I'll be there by your side, okay?" he encourages me and despite my tight stomach and the uneasiness in my chest, I try a smile. It's a fake smile, I don't feel like smiling. Not when everything inside me is numb, paralyzed. "Thank you for doing this for me. Here, I brought you the last piece to complete the look" he says as he pulls out a velvety box from behind. Inside it it's a beautiful ivory crown made of dozens of thin...bones? I'm sure those are fake bones, and as creepy as it sounds, it doesn't look scary, but magnificent. He carefully places it on my head, taking his time and brushing his fingers over my cheek and ear, lingering. This is getting weird. Is he doing it intentionally? If Namjoon would've been the one doing this, my body would shudder, responding to his touches like it always does. He is my biggest weakness. Just then, the noise in the event's hall goes insanely wild indicating that someone important just arrived. "BTS is here." I hear someone in the room say. Of course they are the reason why people are going crazy. I look at Jiwoo and his face suddenly turns serious, menacing. I don't think much about it, however. My brain is focused on something else. "I'll be right back" I say out of the blue as I start hurrying towards the main room where the guests are sitting. "Inna, where are you going?" he shouts behind me, but I ignore him. I'm sorry, Jiwoo. I have to talk to Namjoon. I can't handle this storm inside me any longer. My bare feet are taking me to the main doors and I see a mass of fancy dressed people on the other side. Opening the door and rising on my tiptoes, I peep through the crack and try to spot Namjoon, looking for his deep brown hair in the crowd, but there are too many people. "Aish!" I complain just as someone drags me back behind the stage. "What are you doing here? The show starts in 2 minutes. Go back to your place" the angry staff scolds me. Looking back once, I follow the woman back to the stage, I guess I'll find him later then. Hang in there, my heart. You have to hang in there a little longer. And then we will see him.

I am now backstage, waiting for my turn. Mirae was already on the runway, opening the show, looking flawless and more beautiful than ever. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd go home with a few contract proposals of modelling after tonight. Everyone in the industry has their eyes on her and her ethereal beauty. The models, both men and women, are wearing clothes inspired by post apocalyptic attires: dull colors, layers, hoods and impressive head pieces, making it look like they are soldiers in a dystopian universe, ready for war. The runway is decorated with forgotten broken car wheels and fire barrels, their wild flames burning unceasingly. A perfect deserted cityscape. I will close the presentation wearing this dress, the  only evening piece Jiwoo created, the cherry on the top of the cake. I am supposed to come last and walk through the flames and the scattered objects on the floor barefoot, like a rare butterfly making an appearance in a hopeless place. It's almost ironic how this whole setting is the visual representation of how I am on the inside. It feels like a stroll along my own being, abandoned and lonely, with all the filth in my soul, all the hatred and venom ever thrown at me, all the empty promises the people made to me. This chaos is my legacy, my own empire of dirt.