Serendipity: The Amazing Journey Of A Soulmate

15. Ride

NAMJOON

Her laugh must be the most beautiful sound in the world, reverberating through all of my existence. And knowing that the sole reason of her brief happiness is me, feels like my biggest accomplishment. I smile to myself, unable to control the explosion of feelings in my chest. Setting my bike into motion, I follow her in silent pursuit. She has her arms spread like wings, head bent back, as if she decided to abandon herself for a few moments and embrace the world instead. What a fortunate world, to have her in it. And what a serendipitous thing for a man like me to be able to gaze into her universe. There is a familiarity in being with her I can't seem to completely understand. Feels like I've met her before, my soul recognizing her from worlds, lives ago, just like an old melody that I used to listen to many years before and now I'm finally being reminded of it.
I watch her petite figure, my eyes hungrily swallowing her image, starting from her small and delicate hands, her long hair wild in the wind, the shape of her waist and the way it connects with her admirably slim hips, her every curve. She looks so fragile, yet she carries herself with confidence. Her sharp mind and the emerald fire in her eyes alone can bring men twice her size to their knees. She can set ablaze worlds if she only wished to. Unknowingly, she already does.
I want her. I want her more than I ever wanted anything in my life. She's present in every thought, at any time of the day or night. She's the first thing in my mind when I wake up in the morning and the last thought I have before going to sleep, her pretty face the only one I wish I was able to see, her soft touch the only one I'm yearning for, her warm embrace the only place where I want to be. Everything leads back to her. If I'd say it out loud, I'd probably sound like a madman. And maybe I am one. I'm falling for this girl. Hard. And I'm afraid there is no safety net waiting for me at the bottom. Inna is still in the process of recovering from her previous battles, her scars still healing. She doesn't need to tell me. I can see it in her eyes, in the way she guards her heart. I wish for nothing more but to let me in, to open up to me, to let me know her beautifully broken soul who resonates so well with my own. And yet, I wish she doesn't. Because there is still a choice remaining to be made. The threat of my world subsist and Inna is exposed. Disrupting her peace, the life she worked so hard on building here...I don't want to break her. I'll break myself, my own heart, but never hers.
I'm an atheist. I doubt the existence of gods. But if there is indeed such a force, such an entity in this universe, I think this is their way of punishing me for not believing. To bring her into my life just to either make me lose her or ruin her.
Ahh, it's so frustrating! To find such a right person, but at the wrong time. Time. I recall the discussion I had with Ella yesterday in the car. She told me about time and how it helps everything grow. But time is not on our side, it seems. To whoever is pulling these strings of life, god or not, give me time! Give me one more day with her. To be around her freely, to flirt with her and see her all rattled, to hold her hand once more, to let me taste her lips. Just this day. And then I will make my decision.

I let myself get lost in the moment for a few minutes, riding close behind her, silently watching her. By the time I snap out of my trance, we're almost at the other end of the bridge. Inna and I made a bargain earlier. If one of us would get there first, the last one would grant the winner a favor. I don't mind her winning this, because I know too well that I'd give her the stars if she asked me to. However, I might've implied with my behaviour that the favor can be of a different nature. And that is not unnecessarily fake. I'd be lying if I claimed I don't want her in "that" way too. I want her in every way. Inna is a beautiful woman, of course my body craves hers. I want her in my life and I want her in my bed. There is no hiding. But I would never touch her body without her permission and even more so I would not ask for a sexual favor. I just wanted to tease her and I guess it worked judging by her flustered expression. I would love to see the look on her face when she loses.