Serendipity: The Amazing Journey Of A Soulmate

66. Too good at goodbyes

INNA

It's going to rain again. It always does these days as if the weather is in sink with my troubled soul. I remember what a drought used to be weeks ago. Such a dry July, with hot afternoons and strong, burning rays of sunshine. I wished for rain, but I got a hurricane. It keeps raining on me and I wonder if I'm not getting exactly what I wanted.

It's dark outside, but I can tell the sky is full of clouds because there is no star gazing back at me. Even the moon seems to have left. My only friend, gone as well. I am on my own again. I snort at the thought. It's always been like this, huh? I've always had me and only me to rely on. I shake my head and regain my pace, running around the Han river. I needed to get out of the house. I had to clear my mind. Guilt is tearing me alive for lying to Namjoon. He is pissed at me and disappointed. And how could he not be? All I ever did was hide things from him, plot and lie. Even if it's for his own good, to protect him, I still feel like crap. I tried calling him several times today but he ignored my calls and Jimin told me he hasn't seen much of him today either. He has been hiding in his studio, refusing to socialize. He is hurt, I know that. And I have no idea how to fix this. I can't really tell him the real reason why I won't stop working for Jonathan and I cannot ask him to trust me blindly. I have no right to ask this of him. Mirae was right. He is probably going to despise me for it.

The only comfort I get from this is that he is safe. That he is alive and well and his career is unscathed. As long as I can protect him from this, I can endure everything else. Mrs. Chung was so damn right when she talked about love taking away our choices. We do everything for love. Even if that means losing ourselves.

Closing my eyes tightly shut, I increase my speed, my panting growing harder, but I don't stop. Running always helps. The way my heart almost comes out of my chest, beating like crazy from the effort, its sound echoing through my ears muting out everything else in my head. The shallow shaky breaths that make all my attention focus on how to get more air into my lungs and forget about my dark thoughts for a while. And lastly, the tiredness of my legs that almost fall under me from exhaustion, but which I force to keep going. Sweat is crawling down my neck and torso in wild rivers, my body burning like fire, despite the chilly breeze that started out of the blue. Another storm is about to start.

I barely finish my thought when I feel a drop of cold rain hitting my arm. Thunder can be heard in the distance and I force my legs to go faster. The last thing I want is to get caught in the storm. I have no idea how fast I got home, but I managed to overrun the thunderstorm, the rain starting to pour only when I turned left and entered my street. I hurry into the building and call the elevator, tucking one loose strand of hair behind my ear. Panting hard, I enter the elevator, trying to catch my breath. It's way past everyone's bedtime, almost midnight, and I may look like a madwoman for going for a run at this hour, but I needed this.

Lost in thought, I cross the corridor until I reach my apartment. I type the code, hearing the door unlock with a click, then slip inside. I remove my snickers from my feet, not bothering to turn on the lights in the hallway and I walk to the open space kitchen, stopping in front of the fridge. I bend down and grab a bottle of water, which I drink it all in a go. Damn, I didn't realize just how dehydrated I was. I then leave the kitchen, still in the dark and go to the living room, removing my sweaty t-shirt in the process.

I tripped on something on the floor, which I guess must be the work bag that I disposed of earlier this evening after I returned from the office. I wanted to go out and clear my mind so I didn't really take my time to arrange my belongings. I just threw it away and I left the house in a hurry, desperate to get rid of my dark thoughts. I walk to the wall where the switch is and I turn on the lights, only to find a male figure sprawled on my couch, smirking at me. Jonathan. I gasp at the sudden realization, dropping the t-shirt in my hand that I was using to wipe away whatever sweat was left on my neck. His eyes are watching me carefully, but there is something different about them.