Old, But Not That Old [Motough]

16. passion [bethany]

[Author's note: So normally the chapters alternate between being told as Bethany and as Derek, but this one is once again Bethany, because I want this part to be in her point of view. Also, this chapter may be a tad bit above PG-13, but it's not too graphic, I promise. ;) Hopefully it's not uncomfortable to read... I tried my best to make it more intimate and romantic than lusty and smutty, so I hope you guys like it. Thanks for all the positive feedback. Love you all. xx. ENJOY.]

As Derek kisses me, I pull away, feeling my stomach flutter.

"I didn't say 'I love you' back."

He smiles. "You don't have to say it just cause I did," Derek points out, brushing a piece of my hair behind my ear.

I rest my hands on his neck. "No, I know, but... I might love you, I just don't know. I have no idea what it feels like." I look into his eyes. "How do you know you're in love with me?"

A small smile forms on his face before he bites his lip. "Um... I don't know," he laughs softly. "Love is... It's hard to explain. It's... a feeling you get, throughout your whole body, when you see that person. When you... watch them smile..." Derek brushes his thumb across my lips and I giggle, looking down. "When you... hear their voice. When you touch them, even just the slightest bit, it's like... electricity."

I watch his eyes, travelling to different parts of my body, and then landing on my eyes. He continues. "You're happy simply because they're happy. You can't get them off your mind. They... change your life, even if in a small way. It's not like some crush or some attraction to someone that you've felt for a little bit, it's this thing that eats away at you so your head spins and your stomach hurts and your life starts to revolve around that one person that you've fallen in love with."

I gulp, but smile slightly. Is this really how he feels about me? My heart races and I nod my head. "That was... beautiful," I admit, laughing slightly. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and prepare to speak again. "If that's what love is, then I-" Breathing out deeply, I watch his eyes stare into mine. His hands on my thighs move slightly and my heart beats faster. "I think I am in love with you."

His smile grows and he chuckles. "That's amazing."

I grin, watching him look down nervously. It's so weird to see him somewhat vulnerable, but it is one of the most adorable things I have ever witnessed. "The way that I feel about you is unlike anything I've felt in my entire life. You make me... comfortable," I admit.

Kiss My Slowly by Parachute begins to play and I feel nervous, but also excited by what I'm about to do. My racing heart and the "electricity" Derek was talking about fuel my actions. "You make me comfortable, not only to be myself, but also to do things that scare me." He watches me as I slowly stand and then sit back on his lap, so he is between my legs and I am facing him. His eyes widen slightly but he smirks, letting his hands land on my waist.

"I realized after I turned you down on Halloween and after the whole Cheryl thing..." I continue, placing my hands on his neck. "... that I do want to do more with you, I'm just scared. But at the same time, I feel... safe with you, and I don't know if I'm ready to go all the way right now, but I think I'm ready for more, if you want that with me."

He laughs slightly, but looks deep into my eyes. "Beth, I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything you don't really want to because of what happened with Cheryl or because of me..." Derek says, softly, lifting a hand to my cheek.

"I know," I tell him. "It's not either of those things. Although... I do think you deserve the world and I want to give it to you."

Derek's smile is genuine but compassionate. He strokes my cheek with his thumb. "But don't do it for me..."