Enigmatic ✔

30| Touch

Stella

It's been a while since the male and I, whose name I learnt was Lucas has been sitting here. I really wanted to go home and forget tonight ever happened, I felt like crawling into a corner and slowly dying, to have someone invade your personal space and nearly steal something so special from you definitely is not a good feeling.

I no longer wanted to stand outside of the house so I took up Lucas' offer of going into the car to wait for Hudson. I really wish he would hurry back, I didn't feel comfortable sitting in a car with Lucas.

Never in my entire life have I even thought something like this would happen. Ever. The thought of what could've happened tonight makes my eyes water. I must look like death right now. My hair must be all over the place, with my red and puffy eyes.

How dare Asher do this to me? I wasn't his to touch. I wanted to scrub myself until every part of my body is rid of his fingers.

"You okay over there?" Lucas begins to question.

I nod.

"How did you guys know I was here?" I ask him.

"We were just heading outside and we saw-"

"Alright" I tell him. I really didn't want to talk about what happened. It made it all too real.

Through the mirror I finally see Hudson walking towards the car so Luke and I get out.

I'm not sure of what emotion he's feeling his face his neutral.

"Luke, I'm going to head home" Hudson says taking off his sweater.

"Alright man, I'll catch you tomorrow"

Hudson walks over to me before putting his sweater over my shivering body.

Hudson nods before he begins leading me to my car which was a few steps away from Lucas' car. But wouldn't he be leaving his car here? I guess he would come back for it later. He waits until I get in to shut the door before walking around to the drivers seat.

"Can I have the keys?" Hudson asks. I hand him it and he then turns the key in the ignition, the car roars alive and he takes it out of park before driving home.

The drive is somewhat silent, both of us have alot to say but niether of us felt like talking I guess. I really hated when Hudson was mad at me.

"I'm not going to pretend I'm not mad at you Stella" He starts as if answering my thoughts. "But I shouldn't be, you are allowed to make your own decisions, if you want to go to a party, you can, but how about you inform me next time you choose to do something like this and my anger isn't even directed at you per say.."

"Well shouldn't it be?" I begin to cry. "I've been nothing but a problem since I entered your life"

I feel very vulnerable right now. I just really needed to shower and curl up in my bed like a ball.

"You've been everything but.." Hudson tries to comfort but my brain refuses to process it and I begin to stare out the window, on the moon lit streets.

"Where does it hurt the most?" Hudson asks.

"Every where" I tell him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there Stella-"

"Hudson, you can't possibly blame yourself, it's all my fault. I caused this atrocity"

"Hey stop, this isn't your fault whatsoever"

The rest of the ride to my house is silent as I don't even want to speak about the situation anymore.

Once we get to my house, and the car is off Hudson speaks again, "Let me see your wrists" Hudson says.

I hesitate before I place my hand in his. Hudson notices and he looks a little wounded but sends me a comforting look as if to tell me he understand. Hudson is careful with his examination, "Fucking hell Stella, I should go back there and-"

"And then the police would actually have something to lock you up for"

He looks at me before we get out the car and walk up to my front door. I really did want to be alone tonight. I yold Hudson this and he told me he understood and that I should call him if I needed anything.

Our relationship was beginning to feel strained. We both weren't in a good place right now. I fear thus happened too soon, our relationship was still fresh and I hated the thought that this would be the event that made us split up.

"The real reason why I even went to the party was because I felt like you would leave me Hudson, maybe you'd want sone other girl that goes to parties with you-" I'm honest with him. I don't want the lies to pile up.

Hudson stops me, "Stella what's it going to take for you to see that I'm not going anywhere, and I fell for you because of who you are, you don't have to prove anything to me, you hear? I'm yours and your mine, understand?"

I really needed that reassurance from him.

"I think a hot shower will make you feel better" Hudson says.

What I see when I look at him is the person who has saved me so may times and has given me more love than I thought possible. I had to now be cautious around other guys even Hudson. Hudson has somehow grown to mean everything to me but my body won't react to him the way I want it to.

Hudson bids me a good night before walking away.

After I finish my hot bath, Hudson was right I did feel much better. My woman hood still burned but I would survive, if I believe that then I will, I would be strong about this, I needed to be. My parents can never find out. It would bring too much questions and then they would probably never let me leave the house again and register me for countless therapy sessions.

If they are behaving this way after I missed only a day or two at school, how would they react if they found out the daughter was assulted?

I had explained this to Hudson when he said he would go to the police.

After I put on my t-shirt and a comfy bottom, I throw on Hudson's sweater. It smelled like him. It was amazing, like he was here with me but not physically.

I go over to the television to find something to watch, probably a cartoon or something to help my mind relax before I fell asleep. Before I got into this whole movie thing, I hardly used it, maybe that's why my parents let me keep it in my room as it wasn't a form distraction. I still had to not let it be.

I still needed to be the daughter my parents wanted.

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