Enigmatic ✔

10|Realization

Stella

Chapter Ten

"I want to help you, Hudson" I say once Henry, him and I were seated in the car.

"I thought we were done with this conversation" Hudson responds. "It obviously isn't getting any of us, anywhere"

"Hudson, I'm serious, I want to assist you" I tell him.

"I already told you that offer was off the table-"

I can't believe I was even rude enough to cut him off saying, "I don't care, at that time I was confused and now I've realized that I would be selfish in having the chance to help and not"

"It shouldn't feel like a duty"

"It doesn't. I genuinely want to do it" I tell him, honestly.

"Well, I'll think about it" He says. "You'll probably come tomorrow and tell me 'oh no Hudson I can't do this', so I'll wait a bit, for you to chicken out"

I glance at him, his eyes are focused on the road. His right hand grips the steering wheel as he runs his tongue over his lips-

Oh no, not here. I say to myself. I have no idea why this is continuously happening. I needed it to stop.

I focus back on the road, I'm uncomfortable with the way my body is behaving, ashamed in fact. I feel much better knowing my dress perfectly covers my body.

"You okay there Burman?" Hudson asks.

"O-of course" I reply. There it is again that stuttering. I needed that to stop too.

I had wondered why Henry was ao quiet qnd when I looked back he had fallen asleep. "Our conversation must've bored him" I laugh.

Hudson doesn't respond but I do see his lips slightly tug at each end.

It makes me smile to but there is something I must confess, "Hudson, y-you make me produce lubricating fluids"

Hudson doesn't even flinch. Well why should I even think anything affects, he's been perfectly fine since his parents died. Why would a mere sentence like that challenge him?
His strength is admirable.

"Uh...okay" Hudson replies.

"You need to stop doing whatever is causing this"

"I should tell your body how to react to me?" He asks me confused. Well so was I. What kind of idiotic way is this for expessing emotions?

I don't reply, even though it was rude, but I had nothing to say, I was just as surprised by the situation as he is, this has never happened before.

"Well.." I finally chose to speak. "How can I stop it?"

Hudson props his right elbow up by the window and softly rests his head in his palm while focusing on the road.

"Go home and meditate or something Burman" He replies. "Take your mind off of it"

I nod, taking in completely what he has said. I needed to get this feeling from inside of me out. I needed to put an end to it somehow.

When Hudson dropped me home, I saw that my dad was on the sofa, now asleep, with my mother in his arms as Rose made dinner.

I passed them and walked up the stairs to my room to do as Hudson had suggested. After I tried to meditate and think of all the school work I had to do and how the presentation on Monday would go, I took another shower and trust me I felt much better, the feeling was mostly if not completely gone. Hurray!

I now walked down to greet Rose, I felt too unclean to do it before. "Rose, I'm back"

"How was it?" She asks putting a piece chicken in the pot, before beginning to cut vegetables, which was a bit difficult as her index finger was hurt.

"I'll help" I offer, taking the knife out of her hands. She smiles at me, grateful and I begin the cutting.

"It was a successful trip, actually" I answer her previous question. "I went with Hudson"

She instantly looks at me. Rose is the person I trust most in this world, she been there through so much and I can't even imagine my life with out her.

"𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊𝚛🐛𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚕𝚢🦋"

Rose speaks then hugs me, I hug her back, "I knew the choice you had in mind all along Stella, you have such a good heart, it'll take you a long way in this world, be brave Stella"

I nod taking in her sentences, I wasn't even aware that she wasn't on my father's side either, "Your father was in such a rush to pin it on Hudson, to be the first one to tell everybody he'd aquired the killer, he must've steped over some valuable information, I've watched the news reports, Hudson is not the killer"

"I believe so too, but Rose you must understand the controversy I'm facing, my father-"

"I apologize for cutting you off Stella, but if your father supports the wrong thing, you shouldn't support it with him, you know in your heart you're doing the right thing, then don't feel guilty about it, especially when it's for your life"

I nod again. Rose was the best, she was the only one who was even near to understanding me.

"But Hudson still doesn't trust me"

"Time is such a beautiful thing, Stella, it'll work wonders..now if we are ever to have dinner, we need those vegetables" Rose smiles and I turn around to cut a tomato.

At dinner, it was silent, my father, mother and I didn't have anything to say. Rose didn't eat with us, she shared a plate of food and ate after we were finished eating, a stupid rule my father came up with as if we were still in the 19th century. Yes, I stated that the past centuries were better, but definately not because of this.

It had upset me before but now that my father is not balanced on my good side it's one of the things that has started to annoy me.

"Father...why can't Rose eat with us?" I make sure it's not in a tone to aggravate him.

Father drops his fork and looks at me. "Because I said so" Is all he states. "Finish your food and get to bed Stella, for questioning my orders, you just lost your freetime"

I looked at Rose, her eyes were glossy, I'm sure it wasn't because of my her not being able to eat with us but because of how cruel my father is to me, I know how much Rose cares about me but I shake my head and try to smile at her to tell her it's fine. She nods and I go back to eating.

I don't how much more of this I can take. I hate that everything has just started to affect me. Why didn't I see that anything was wrong from before?

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